I guess it was only a matter of time before someone took Madonna's life and added a few onomatopoeic sound effects:

• Kelly Osbourne, the new face of the tween-focused Macy's line to which Madonna licensed her image, says Lourdes Leon…

• Village Voice nightlife columnist Michael Musto has sharp words for Calvin Klein, seen here with boyfriend Nick…

• January Jones' reward for holding up the spring Versace show by over an hour is apparently...the brand's spring…

• Madonna went to Macy's yesterday with Lourdes and her "muse" Taylor Momsen to launch her Material Girl juniors'…

"Dance 4 A Chance to Meet Madonna!" blared signs all over the Broadway Dance Center where, at 8 Thursday morning,…

• Etsy isn't the full extent of Christina Hendricks' modeling — she is the new face of London Fog. Previously, the…

• Vogue Paris picked Marion Cotillard for its September cover, and bleached her eyebrows. Strangely enough, the French…

[New York, August 3. 'Material Girls' pose for a photo, embrace literalism prior to the Material Girl clothing line…

• When he gets done taping The View today, Barack Obama's gonna head over to his close, personal friend Anna Wintour's…

Obviously the Material Girl line is all about attitude, because we can barely see any clothes in this image, and…

Madonna's daughter Lourdes has started a fashion blog in promotion of Material Girl, the pair's line for Macy's.

• American Apparel — plagued by debt, sales declines, production delays, and that discrimination kerfuffle — warned…

• Richie Sambora's latest collection for his line White Trash Beautiful, includes this snake-print "zip-crotch…

"I hate the term 'empower,' because it's so wrongly appropriated by, for example, strippers, but she really did…

• An Israeli nationalist group is very concerned about Bar Refaeli's relationship with goy Leo DiCaprio. According to…

• Madonna got a clothing line. Not with Ed Hardy, but with Iconix — and her juniors' clothes will hit Macy's under the…

A piece in today's Guardian gives Madonna a big attagirl for her younger boyfriend. Ok, but at this point should…