Has the job market situation got you down lately? Are you feeling unstimulated in your current position? Looking for a new job with better benefits and perks? Then I have something just for you.

Bringing oneself to orgasm with a series of rhythmic vibrations: there's an app for that. It's called "iVibe Massager Lite," and its user reviews are inordinately high — because most of them are bribes from remorseful youths who do not want "The First! The Best! The Original Vibrating iPhone App!" to remain on their…

Kate Gosselin has to be over the moon about last night's Couples Therapy. Has there ever been schadenfreude so sweet as to watch your ex-husband get caught masturbating on television and then ripped a new asshole about it by Jodie Foster?

Ever seen a blog post about a weird sex toy designed to simulate the feeling of a vagina and thought, what kind of a lonely fuck would use one of those? The same chairsniffers who buy used women's underwear off ebay? I mean, probably. But also: Male journo-bloggers who are doing it "as a joke."

A small porn studio in Southern California betting the fuck-farm on a new technology that promises to make the art of filming various body parts and things entering various body holes so graphic that you can practically smell the crotch sweat and feel the chafing. "Super high definition porn" that makes you feel like…

Humans, being the strange little animals we are, generally love to crawl away to a dark corner of our private spaces and masturbate. But. What if we didn’t have to crawl away to a dark corner and ululate like a crazed werewolf as we relieved a day’s worth of stress and anxiety? What if masturbation wasn’t a…

Porn parodies aren’t really for titillation, right? They’re for watching after senior prom with a bunch of friends you’ll eventually drift apart from because the only memory you’ll share after another five years will be, “Hey, remember when we all drank grenadine spritzers and watched that stunt fulfill his heroic…

According to Uproxx, this Fifty Shades of Grey masturbating kiosk is located in a Sainsbury's, which is a chain of supermarkets in the U.K. that apparently specializes in dirty books and special vibrator batteries. Oh, and those shortbread cookies that are so maddeningly delicious. This display should remind everyone…

After a stranger exposed himself to her on her trolley ride home from work last week, a 24-year-old Boston woman confronted her wrongdoer in exactly the righteous sort of way that most us only ever have the opportunity to rehearse angrily in front of a bathroom mirror — she forced him to his feet and shamed him in…

How do you relieve stress and anxiety when you're on the job? Do some online window shopping? Hit up the vending machine for some chocolate? Take a smoke break? One Brazilian woman masturbates. Eighteen times a day.

The votes are in! And the runaway "winner" will surprise none of you...

We asked, and did you ever answer! We learned about the many uses of a teddy bear, the perils of faulty locks and "an excellent way to get rid of undesirable roommates." And now it's time to pick the worst.

It was cringe-inducing watching poor Sally get caught in the "unnatural" act of touching herself on last night's Mad Men...but partially because so many people can relate! A Sally Draper Moment is by no means limited to Sally Draper.