Well, here we are. The sun is dying, the oceans are boiling, the bees are dead, and the battle between Pre-Apocalypse and Post-Apocalypse has reached its pinnacle, with Indoor Plumbing (12) fighting Unlimited Time Off (9) for the ultimate title. And the winner is—drumroll, please:
The battle of Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse has come to a head, and you fools have given me a tension headache with the decisions you’ve made. I’m not trying to start drama, but don’t you ever think about other people?
HOLY MAD COW DISEASE, FOLKS, IT’S THE FINAL FOUR! And what a bleak yet engaging ride it has been! We’ve waded through immortal tech billionaires and mole people and the disappearing middle class to get to where we are today, as the strongest seeds face off to determine who will carry the torch to the last fiery battle…
Well hello! We’re back with Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse, and guess what, things are grim as heck but we’re having a really nice time.
Shalom and welcome back to Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse. Our time is drawing to a close, both planet-wise and also because March is almost over, and as we move into the muscular arms of the elite eight, we have to ask ourselves the big questions: What would you do without online…
It’s another beautiful day in Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse, where the competition is fierce and death looms ever closer.
Welcome welcome welcome welcome WELCOME to Round Two of Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse! So far, both options have a lot of pros and cons!
Hello again and welcome to day three of Jezebel’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse! We’ve got a lot to get through as we finish Round One, so, if I may provide one of the many sports analogies in my basketball hat, let’s get the ball rolling!
We’re in day two of this year’s March Madness: Pre-Apocalypse vs. Post-Apocalypse, and folks, the competition is flaming hot, as we say in the athletics world!
In previous years, Jezebel’s annual March Madness brackets have spanned a number of fun categories—Internet vs. IRL, Sex vs. Chocolate, Childhood vs. Adulthood. And what a gas it has been. This year, however, we have thrown caution and also optimism to the wind. We have let our hair down. We have unbuttoned our pants…
You, the people, have spoken your truths, in the most exciting online poll you have taken in your entire lives. And now, after one-and-a-half nailbiting weeks, we have a winner.
Let me be honest: I audibly gasped at the outcome of Final Four voting, and the heat was as close as could be.
I am mad that I have Europe’s “The Final Countdown” stuck in my head for this, but it is in fact the FINAL COUNTDOWN: Our four most popular March Madness teams will, after this vote, be pared down to two and in just a few days, we will have a winner. Do you FEEL like you’re giving BIRTH? Here, listen to this (and…
Can you see the finish line? I can, but I seriously do not know where this will end. Let’s see how our choices fared this time around as we enter the realm of the “Elite 8.” I just learned that term today, cool, right?
You know, the outcome of this poll thus far is really informative about you guys; specifically, that you like free shit and total relaxation. I can deeply relate! In Round 3, though, we’re really getting into the zone of tough choices.
We are motoring right along, friends, in the ALL-IMPORTANT DEATH MATCH that is, in fact, a celebration of LIFE! As we enter round two, let me remind you of our only rule, or at least the best way to vote: you are voting for the thing you like better, so ultimately the two things you like the BEST end up battling it in…
Wow, it’s Day Three of March Madness: Childhood vs. Adulthood and we’re getting ever-closer to jumping into the next round, so let’s get right into it!
It’s day two of this year’s March Madness, Childhood vs. Adulthood, and the heats are... heating up! Let’s do this, friends and fans of theoretical sports tournaments.
I’m going to be honest: choosing a March Madness theme was a little tough this year because we are all feeling... a little more existential than usual. But the complicated tenor of our spirits was exactly how we landed on Childhood vs. Adulthood, resulting in perhaps one of the most joyous brackets we’ve ever had.