Hey, has anyone else had a problem keeping their brain matter from oozing out of their ears and nose over the past few days as your body suffers a physical response to the demise of American democracy as we know it? Anyone?
Oh, did you forget that there are other members in One Direction besides Zayn Malik (the extremely hot one) and Harry Styles (the other hot one?) Well, there are, and one of them is Liam Payne. That’s him, up there. Remember him? Yeah I don’t either.
In an interview with U.K. magazine Rollacoasta, a member of One Direction who is not Zayn or Harry shared a story about the time Donald Trump demanded the band to vacate one of his New York hotels after they declined to meet his daughter. (Based on age, presumably Tiffany and not Ivanka.)
Shade Court is in session and I am very much ready for this ridiculous week to be over.
Step 1: Grab phone angrily; Step 2: Fake Smile; Step 3: Look like you're about to die; Step 4: Repeat over and over until you forget why you wanted this in the first place. Liam Payne is in so much pain.
Justice Beaver (of the crime-fighting beavers) is going to be in a lot of hot water today, because The Sun has just posted a video of the pop star making an offensive slur-laden joke. Fun!
Scarlett Johansson is officially engaged to Frenchman and too-hot-to-be-a-journalist journalist Romain Dauriac, her rep confirms. "They're very happy... they haven't chosen a date for the wedding." After faking us out numerous times this past year with non-nuptial diamond rings, her actual engagement ring is "a…
In today's Tweet Beat, Jessie J is honest about how bad her bad flight really was, Liam Payne uses some language best reserved for those without delicate ears, and Aziz Ansari and Shonda Rhimes need to schedule a working lunch STAT.
Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as "like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me."
Superfoxes Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are divorcing after eight years of marriage, according to their reps: "It was a mutual decision. It was amicable. It's not ugly, it's just over." (Guh.) It's the second marriage for both of them. Although this means our fantasy of James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, Josh and Diane…
As you may recall, in penance for her pro-Israel Tweet, Kim Kardashian planned a trip to Bahrain to learn about the Middle East hawk some milkshakes. A faction of Sunni Muslim MPs had taken their issues with Kardashian's visit up with Parliament before her arrival ("she's an actress with an extremely bad reputation"),…
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have hired my mom's pretend (but serious pretend) boyfriend Jamie Oliver to come to their Surrey estate to cook them Christmas dinner. Pitt and Oliver have been buddies since the Jennifer Aniston days. The British chef has tried to give him cooking lessons before, but he's "useless in the…
The rumblings around the castle are ominous this week: the now-infamous Prince Harry Naked Bear Hug-Gate photos are only the tip of the iceberg, say Vegas sources, and the royal media will soon have to contend with "something pretty gigantic" (LOLOLOL pun). It appears that there's actually video of the Prince partying…
Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. One of them panicked and drowned, but the other one kicked his little legs until he churned that cream into butter and walked out. And then Kate Major and Michael Lohan announced they were having a child, and the surviving mouse was like "What the fuck, didn't you just file a…
Two weeks after welcoming daughter Pearl Clementine with his fiancée Lisa Stelly, Jack Osbourne, 26, has been diagnosed with relapsing, remitting multiple sclerosis—the most common, but least aggressive form of the illness, says Osbourne. "I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' " he told People…
