This Week In Tabloids: John Travolta and Kelly Preston's Marriage Is 'Bizarre,' But It's Also Fine

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we read the headline “JOHN & KELLY: INSIDE THEIR BIZARRE MARRIAGE” and start laughing to ourselves in public. This week, Angelina Jolie is a freakin’ liar, John Travolta and Kelly Preston are freakin’ weirdos, and William and Kate are freakin’ King and Queen.

You Won't Believe All the Secrets Kelly Preston and John Travolta Have

If you thought John Travolta was the only person in his marriage with “sex secrets,” then you were wrong, because wife Kelly Preston also has sex secrets, and all their sex secrets will be revealed in a “shocking” new tell-all called The Shocking and Sexy Sex Secrets of Two Secretive People: Kelly Preston and John…

John Travolta and Kelly Preston Squash Gay Rumors by Vacationing on Magical Island of Homosexual Pleasures

The Greek island of Mykonos—the "gay capital of the Mediterranean"—probably isn't where I would go if I were trying to quell rumors about my secret gay touchings, but, you know, everyone's a special snowflake. John Travolta and Kelly Preston were photographed walking hand-in-hand through the streets of the lovely…

Charlize Theron Says She's Not a Single Mom Because Her Two Dogs Are Helping to Raise Her Son

Charlize Theron may not have a human partner to help her care for her baby son, Jackson, but she says she doesn't consider herself a single mom because she gets plenty of help from her two dogs, Berkley and Blue. Her canine companions immediately fell for Jackson, whom she adopted when he was just nine days old, and…

50 Cent Is in the Hospital, But Is He Dying or Just Dying for Attention?

When most people are in the hospital they don't tweet about their whereabouts because they are, you know, busy being extremely sick. But 50 Cent has recently issued a series of tweets mentioning that he's in the hospital—for what a friend says is a stomach ailment—while simultaneously mentioning his new mixtape. The…