Welcome to Midweek Madness, where FUCK it’s only Wednesday.

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, our long-dormant weekly revue of all the best and the worst but mostly deeply whateverness that tabloid media has to offer us. But first… a passage from Revelations:

While scrolling through one of our many dense, frustrating-to-navigate photo subscriptions this morning I came upon a collection titled “*EXCLUSIVE* Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx head back to her place after a dinner date.” I clicked faster than you can say “GOING CLEAR,” because I couldn’t wait to see new images of my…

We’ve said it innumerable times before, but some suit-wearing celebrities simply refuse to listen: You don’t have to tweet! There are so many other activities available to you during your short time on Earth, especially when you are rich! You can remodel the guest kitchen of your third summer home! You can build a…

After four (4) years of passionately believing in Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes’ love as though Tinkerbell’s life depended on it all because of a single, super blurry photo of them holding hands in a recording studio, I have finally been validated: sharply focused photos of the two engaging in PDA are here!!!

Let’s get this out of the way right at the beginning: Canadian pop star and embodiment of what it meant to be in teenager in the year 2002 Avril Lavigne is alive. Some people on the internet are saying she’s dead, but they’re either misinformed or deliberately trying to trick you.

Folks, the relationship that gossip rags have spent three years attempting to convince us is actually happening based on a single photo of two people being vaguely affectionate with each other in what appears to be a recording studio is FINALLY (maybe) (potentially) about to be confirmed by its two alleged…

This week on DirtCast, we decided to get creative by going out into New York City’s Union Square and talking to the general populace about whether or not they give a shit about Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx’s rumored relationship. It was this mistake that resulted in an unusable segment that we hope will never be heard…

The fact that Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes’s are reportedly dating is a wonderful nibble of gossip, a personal favorite of mine that pops into my head at the strangest of times. Even though we reported that their unconfirmed relationship of over three years ended back in October, Lainey Gossip is here to set the record…

If a television show in which a male movie star-slash-key player in a cult-like group offers a far less experienced actress a ton of money to be his wife reminds you of the rumors that dogged Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes throughout their seven-year relationship, well how actually dare you! You should be ashamed of…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we read Star, In Touch, OK, but not Life & Style because for some reason the magazine store decides that they don’t want to put it up, and write the lede to this post while munching on a delicious Fuji apple we bought from the Union Square farmer’s market earlier this week while…

Wow. After over three years of being in a relationship that was unconfirmed at best and flat-out denied at worst, Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes have reportedly split up.

Earlier this month, an Australian tabloid called Woman’s Day (you know, the magazine that always breaks stories about Olivia Newton John’s “missing” ex-boyfriend) had the nerve to write that Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky’s marriage “may not be as picture perfect as it appears.”

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where the four major cover stories today alternate between conscious coupling and conscious uncoupling. On Team ‘We’re Finished,’ we’ve got Jessica Biel, Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie. On Team ‘I Still Love You,’ we’ve got Katie Holmes, Jamie Foxx, Ben Affleck, and…

According to this Radar report I fervently wish to be true, the reason behind Katie Holmes’ silence has been contractual—the site reports her divorce settlement bars her from discussing Tom Cruise, Scientology, and even her own dating life, which may or may not involve Jamie Foxx. But not for much longer?

Rapper Lil Wayne was hospitalized last week after his epilepsy reared its head and caused an especially severe seizure.

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we decide to make this installment a little more interactive by using Kinja’s Q&A system to answer all of your most burning questions about this week’s hottest goss, which includes: Prince’s alleged suicide note, Gwen and Blake’s alleged wedding, Katie and Jamie’s alleged wedding, and …

They got to Claudia Jordan, folks.