After some seriously boooooooring few performances to start the MTV Video Music Awards last night, J. Lo took the stage to wake everyone the hell up.

Not all celebrities are as out of touch as our grotesque president. Some even remember how to grocery shop! And others, like, Ludacris, are on occasion out here grocery shopping for the rest of us.

Jennifer Lopez has been announced as the recipient of this year’s Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV Video Music Awards, which is a real triumph for beautiful women with thin voices dancing well under green lasers and on stoops.

Pants are not for everyone. Shoes, also same. Shirts—everyone loves those, right? Seems like those three items required for public life got a little confused here on the eternally ageless body of Jennifer Lopez.

J. Lo is sooo rich in the music video for her new single “Dinero,” featuring Cardi B. How rich, you ask? She’s so rich that when she burns a whole rack of ribs on her outdoor charcoal grill, she simply chucks it into the grass. She’s so rich that elsewhere, she roasts a marshmallow over a pile of burning money. She’s…

OK, OK, I see you: SZA: “Garden (Say It Like Dat)” — A forlorn and lovestruck Donald Glover shows up in this gauzy, sexy music video, but the star of the show is SZA, dancing on the beach and in streams and rocking several very cute outfits. It’s fun and makes me wanna go shopping at Anthropologie and then go swimming…

Not everyone can age as well as Jennifer Lopez, although many people, judging by the number of search results that come up when you Google “how can I look like Jennifer Lopez???”, would like to know how she does it. The Bronx-born and raised superstar has kept her beauty secrets under lock and key, simply telling E!…

On Wednesday night, Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock shared a post on his Twitter account admitting to past sexual harassment and detailing an encounter after which he was accused of rape. The post, entitled “I Am Part of the Problem,” begins with something I’m sure plenty of men can relate to:

In a report that Harvey Weinstein’s rep calls “absurd” and Jezebel’s Bobby Finger calls “honestly sort of believable,” it was rumored that Weinstein, an accused rapist and serial sexual harasser, believes his recent fall from feared member of the Hollywood elite to toxic cultural pariah has made him a “savior” who…

The celebrities put on their compassion hats and got on the phone last night to raise money for disaster victims in the southern United States, Mexico, Puerto Rico and the Caribbean in the Somos Live! telethon and benefit concert organized by Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, and A-Rod. Bruno Mars sang in Spanish in front…

This is a sobering Dirt Bag because there isn’t much gossip (I went online after a 24-hour hiatus and everything is about Tom Petty, even the news that’s not really about Tom Petty, RIP), and because, well, stars are just like us: they too occasionally do an appropriate thing when faced with heart-melting levels of…

A woman identified as Jane Doe is suing Usher for exposing her to the herpes virus—and an STI test reveals that she has contracted the virus as well.

The cutout Bao Tranchi bodycon dress Jennifer Lopez wore to her “pre-birthday dinner” with boyfriend A-Rod Saturday night has been described as “daring,” “smoking hot,” and “jaw-dropping,” but I’ll go with “the polar opposite of what she wears on Shades of Blue.”

Us Weekly reports this week that, after some cheating allegations were unleashed on Alex Rodriguez earlier this summer by National Enquirer earlier this year, Jennifer Lopez grew worried that their relationship was “too good to be true” and hired a private investigator to “tail” him.

A story which, as we noted yesterday, has been blowing up from the bowels of The National Enquirer: A-Rod has allegedly been sexting an ex-girlfriend behind J.Lo’s back, and TMZ reports that sext-ee Lauren Hunter is threatening to extort him for $600,000. Nothing, of course, is going to top the Anthony Weiner story;…

The National Enquirer made the bold claim that Alex Rodriguez, aka A-Rod, is cheating on Jennifer Lopez, aka J.Lo, with “THIS WOMAN.” Though the headline was accompanied by a helpful yellow arrow pointing at a tiny little photo of “THIS WOMAN,” I still don’t know her, so I had to reference Page Six’s writeup of the…

How is it that even during this truncated week, it still feels like the longest week ever? Oh yeah, because the leader of our country is torturing us and everyone is losing their goddamn mind.

In a move that’s “incomprehensible” at best and “very, very bad” at worst, ABC is currently in talks to bring American Idol—the former jewel in Fox’s crown that ended its 14-year run last April due to low ratings—back from the dead. TMZ reports Tuesday that the show is “the hottest property out there” (out where?) and…

Apropos of absolutely nothing, I’ve been having an extremely frustrating denim experience. I recently ordered a new pair of jeans in the same size and cut that I’ve purchased three previous times. When they arrived, the jeans didn’t fit. I returned them and reordered another pair. Then I ordered a second pair and…

Responding to a comment that “reported rapes are the only rapes that count,” 20-year-old Abigail Breslin chronicled in an Instagram post the reasons she decided to not to come forward, and the emotional aftershocks of that traumatic experience.