Downtown mainstay, (excellent) actress and sartorial pioneer Chloë Sevigny hates to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but she really wants you to pull your tiny denim shorts out of your crack and study for your SATs.

Now that that incorrigible dickens Angus T. Jones has gone all bonky on us, it seems the producers of Two and One Half Men are scrambling to find a bonk-free replacement. And, according to a source, they're seriously considering Miley "Miley Cyrus's Haircut" Cyrus for the role. The role of Miley Cyrus's haircut will…

Liza "With A Z, Not Lisa With An S" Minnelli was honored at the New York Landmarks Conservancy awards at the Plaza on Thursday and partied like a sorority girl in a foreign country. Though her beverage of choice is a mystery, Minnelli drank and chain-smoked throughout the night, and by the time she got onstage to…

Vote today, you guys! Vote! OK? Even if you're just a sycophant with no political leanings, vote because your favorite celebrities want you to. As Jay-Z substituted "Mitt" for "bitch" onstage during "99 Problems" at an Ohio rally for President Obama, Beyonce was at home writing a very nice letter to our president:…

Last night was Elle's 19th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration, held at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, and celebs dressed up to steal the spotlight: Some wore vivid blues; others donned crisp whites; Lea Michele chose see-through netting.

Kristen Stewart has dropped out of Cali, the movie she was going to film with Alex Pettyfer, and will not show up to the premiere of On The Road. This is probably because her co-star in the Kerouac adaptation is Tom Sturridge, Friend Of R. Patz, which would admittedly be pretty awkward.

Some people think boobs are disgusting, unnatural and entirely unsuitable for public display, and this goes double time when some kid is going to town on them for milky sustenance. To these folk Selma Blair, aka Ursula Udders, delivers savage eye roll and says she doesn't care what they think when she lets her nipples…

In less than 24 hours, barring any last minute brushes with the law, Lindsay Lohan will be off probation for the first time in four years. That means no more morgue duty, no more court-ordered therapy, and no more jail time. She's looking to get back to work and start fresh, but it her criminal record is already…

It looks like The Situation finally got himself into one situation that he couldn't handle. A source has just revealed to TMZ that Mike Sorrentino, he of Jersey Shore ab fame, has checked into an inpatient rehab program for substance abuse problems. Well, this will certainly throw yet another wrinkle into the newest…

It wasn't Lizzie Grubman bad, but it's still an average start to the day when you hit someone with your car outside of a club and immediately flee the scene – which is exactly what Lindsay Lohan did in the wee hours of the morning. Leaving Hollywood's Sayers Club sometime after midnight she got into a paprazzo jam…

Thus far, 2012 has looked somewhat promising for the survival of love (Snooki's engaged, after all). But now we have news which promises to kill our faith in marriage for eternity: 90210's Jennie Garth and Twilight's Peter Facinelli are calling it quits after 11 years of marriage.

Today in Tweet Beat, Snoop Dogg had a productive day, that involved getting stoned, going on television, and taking a photo with Jennie Garth. Plus, Rachel Zoe actually doesn't know what to wear, one day of the year.

Today in Tweet Beat, Larry King struggles with one of life's big mysteries, Kylie Minogue has the best shoes, and Beverly Hills is giving the Kardashians the key to the city.

[New York, February 5. Image via Getty.]

Ah, the Daytime Emmys: a beaded, glitzy bastion in a world of styled conventionality. Susan Lucci. Tyra Banks. Sandra Lee. And baubles, bangles, and beads: The Orpheum Theatre had it all!