The "bubblegum pink" Keyboard for Blondes actually says things like "duh" and "oops!" if you hit backspace and makes a cash register sound when you hit the dollar sign. Instead of a "caps lock" button, there's a "warning! size xxl letters" button; the F keys are called "useless keys." There's an "SOS" key: Shoes on

"Protect our troops — from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship? Show that you support the 'culture of life' by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans." - Christmas ornament, $14.95 [MissP

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