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Did she steal his fig leaf?

Wait, she's just quitting and using senioritis as an excuse? Ridiculous.

Strawberry Shortcake must use this line at some point: "You thought life was going to be a bowl of cherries, but now: You're in a JAM, bitch!"

He should throw in a free cockbib with the deluxe membership for good measure.

No wonder the goatherd is so lonely.

Rio cheated on Jem with Barbie. Trust me, it happened in a living room in Laurel, MD in 1991.

Who's laughing now, Gargamel??!

Somewhere there's a hound dog named Copper diligently stealing socks. Friends forever!

You will be sorry, Vogue, when old dumpling-legged broads like me sashay down the streets this summer sans pants. Oh yes.

Shenanigans Saturday Segues Smoothly to STFU Sunday, Survey Says.

Now we know why he is so pro-life...he whines like a baby.

The touch, the feel of mutants . . .

she shoulda stuck with the pantalones.

When your fans asked for a sign Beth, I don't think this is what they meant.

Beware! I had a wet hot Ukranian once. Now I have a half Ukranian child.

Steven Tyler is dating Kevin Costner now?
Weird.

Ye Olde GOOP.

I think that a member of the "Latino KKK" targeted me once. I woke up one morning and there was equality and cultural preservation all over my front yard. It was chilling.

I was sort of hoping Betty and Veronica would get married.

So I guess this means someone at Scientific American is a fan of CockBib, huh?