Jul 3 2009
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Wait, she's just quitting and using senioritis as an excuse? Ridiculous.

Jul 3 2009
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Strawberry Shortcake must use this line at some point: "You thought life was going to be a bowl of cherries, but now: You're in a JAM, bitch!"

Jun 20 2009
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Rio cheated on Jem with Barbie. Trust me, it happened in a living room in Laurel, MD in 1991.

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Jun 14 2009
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Somewhere there's a hound dog named Copper diligently stealing socks. Friends forever!

Jun 11 2009
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You will be sorry, Vogue, when old dumpling-legged broads like me sashay down the streets this summer sans pants. Oh yes.

Jun 7 2009
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Shenanigans Saturday Segues Smoothly to STFU Sunday, Survey Says.

Jun 4 2009
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Now we know why he is so pro-life...he whines like a baby.

May 29 2009
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Beware! I had a wet hot Ukranian once. Now I have a half Ukranian child.

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May 29 2009
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Steven Tyler is dating Kevin Costner now?
Weird.

May 29 2009
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I think that a member of the "Latino KKK" targeted me once. I woke up one morning and there was equality and cultural preservation all over my front yard. It was chilling.

May 28 2009
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I was sort of hoping Betty and Veronica would get married.

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