Melania, a Taurus, Celebrates Her Birthday
Somewhere in the heart of our nation’s capital, a butler rolled a small silver tray into a poorly-decorated room. On it…
Here, Write This Romance Novel
I cannot stop looking at this picture of Prince Harry and Justin Trudeau. Are they swapping Toronto dinner recs? Is…
How Long Would the Jezebel Staff Last in A Quiet Place?
While discussing the tenuous logic of John Krasinski’s already much discussed directorial breakout*, A Quiet Place, the…
A Transcript of What Trudeau and Macron Probably Said on Their Intimate Walk Through Sicily
On Friday, French president Emmanuel Macron tweeted a video of him on a romantic flânerie with Canadian Prime Minister…
Celebrate Love With Erotic Fan Fiction Starring the Hunks From the Trump Merch Store
Buried within the apparel section of the still-very-active shop.donaldjtrump.com are a number of men modeling Trump…
Our Generation's Finnegan’s Wake Has Been Published, and It Is This Beyoncé Fan Fiction
Fellow mortals, I have come across what can only be described as the Finnegan’s Wake of our time, and it is Beyoncé fan…
This Ted Cruz Holiday Erotica Is Fucking Weird
Have you ever looked at Texas Senator and Republican presidential candidate Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz and thought, “Huh,…
16 Times I Was Not Turned On by This Glasses-Themed Erotic Thriller About Jeb Bush
It’s literally impossible to look at lagging Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush and not think about s-e-x. That…
Everything I Learned About Socialism From This Erotic Bernie Sanders eBook
Bernie Sanders: impassioned speaker, humble Vermonter, white-haired enemy of the banks. Skilled woodsman. Monogam-ish.…
Let's Take a Tour of Martha Stewart's Farm
Martha Stewart, the woman with a better everything than you, went on a drive around her farm yesterday and took a few…
Wan Erection: A Tribute to the Best Zayn Malik Fanfic on the Net
It's been a tough week for One Direction fans. And now that the weekend is drawing near, promising a full two days of…
Amazon Doesn't Like Bigfoot Porn as Much as You Do
Monster porn: no longer getting people and their "rape fantasies" off—or making one writer up to $30,000 a month—on…
On The Fetishisation Of Gay Men By Women In The Slash Community
【The following was originally posted on The Mary Sue (Abrams Media Network) and has been republished here with…
Mom's Evangelical Christian Rewrite of Harry Potter CANNOT Be Real
Exciting news from the fan fiction world! A writer who claims to be an Evangelical stay-at-home mom named Grace Ann has…
'Knotting' Is the Weird Fanfic Sex Trend That Cannot Be Unseen
I'm going to start this real slow and lay out the facts: Knotting is a popular trend in fan fiction. It involves men…
Callie Sent Me This
"I dabbed a damp cloth on the baby's head before sticking a finger into its tiny mouth to get rid of slime, blood,…
DIY Casting of the Next Celebrity Apprentice: 10 Nutty Dream Teams
NBC has not listed Celebrity Apprentice on its 2013 - 2014 schedule because the show has not officially been picked up…
Wendi Deng Is Your Imaginary Girlfriend
Welcome back to Your Imaginary Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Jezebel's series in which we explore the wild and entirely…
NSA Leaker's Romantic Life Reads Like Escapist Fan Fiction
NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden gave up his freedom to leak classified and critical government secrets that warrant…
Shut It Down! Amazon's New Fan Fiction Platform Does Not Allow Porn
Good news for those of you who've spent the last 15-years sitting on piles of Newsies fan fiction that you don't know…