Somewhere in the heart of our nation’s capital, a butler rolled a small silver tray into a poorly-decorated room. On it lay a small cake, adorned with a tiny candle. A Slovenian former model brushed her blowout to the side, pursed her lips, and exhaled, extinguishing its tiny flame. “Happy birthday to me,” Melania…
I cannot stop looking at this picture of Prince Harry and Justin Trudeau. Are they swapping Toronto dinner recs? Is does Prince Harry belong to Canada now, even though he is marrying an American? Could they be talking about how desperately they miss Barack?
While discussing the tenuous logic of John Krasinski’s already much discussed directorial breakout*, A Quiet Place, the Jezebel staff had lots of questions. We thought about what we would do and how we might survive in a movie where noise can get you killed by an ever-looming Monster in the post-apocalypse. How do…
On Friday, French president Emmanuel Macron tweeted a video of him on a romantic flânerie with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. In the video, the two slender francophones can be seen walking the famous gravel garden paths of Sicily (is this something? I’ve never left midtown Manhattan), speaking in hushed tones…
Buried within the apparel section of the still-very-active shop.donaldjtrump.com are a number of men modeling Trump apparel. These men are a total mystery, aside from the fact that they all appear vaguely threatening and don’t seem to actually be models.
Fellow mortals, I have come across what can only be described as the Finnegan’s Wake of our time, and it is Beyoncé fan fiction.
Have you ever looked at Texas Senator and Republican presidential candidate Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz and thought, “Huh, I wonder what’s going on with him, sexually?”
It’s literally impossible to look at lagging Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush and not think about s-e-x. That wan, empty smile, the way he brings up 9/11 almost constantly—oh my god, where are my pants?
Bernie Sanders: impassioned speaker, humble Vermonter, white-haired enemy of the banks. Skilled woodsman. Monogam-ish. Turns into a bear when he’s horny.
Martha Stewart, the woman with a better everything than you, went on a drive around her farm yesterday and took a few dozen pictures documenting its perfection. Today she uploaded them to her blog, complete with detailed descriptions for each. Based on her post, I’ve created a brief guide for her Bedford, NY property.
It's been a tough week for One Direction fans. And now that the weekend is drawing near, promising a full two days of grieving without any annoying interruptions like insensitive teachers or parents who just don't get it. Since the only way you'll ever see the boys together again is in your imagination, we've…
Monster porn: no longer getting people and their "rape fantasies" off—or making one writer up to $30,000 a month—on Amazon since 2015.
【The following was originally posted on The Mary Sue (Abrams Media Network) and has been republished here with permission.】About a year ago, I went with friends to see a live reading of Welcome to Night Vale and was shocked by the amount of screaming coming from women in the audience.
Exciting news from the fan fiction world! A writer who claims to be an Evangelical stay-at-home mom named Grace Ann has taken it upon herself to remove all the witchcraft devil-worship from Harry Potter and replace it with a more Christian-friendly message. Looks like someone has finally thought of the children — by…
I'm going to start this real slow and lay out the facts: Knotting is a popular trend in fan fiction. It involves men having sex with men like wolves. And it often leads to male pregnancy, which leads to male delivery. And the people giving birth to feces-covered babies are often members of One Direction.
"I dabbed a damp cloth on the baby's head before sticking a finger into its tiny mouth to get rid of slime, blood, mucus and all the little pieces of excrement the baby had swallowed on its way down his rectum."
NBC has not listed Celebrity Apprentice on its 2013 - 2014 schedule because the show has not officially been picked up for another season. According to network executives at the TCA press tour last month, it's because they are having difficulty with casting. But seriously, how hard can it be? We came up with 10…
Welcome back to Your Imaginary Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Jezebel's series in which we explore the wild and entirely fabricated world of dating a famous person. As is the risk with most fan fiction, things might get weird and things might get creepy, but the important thing is that we all have a good time.
NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden gave up his freedom to leak classified and critical government secrets that warrant our utmost attention. He relinquished his own privacy so we would know that ours is under attack. But naturally, media outlets are much more concerned with tracking down Lindsay Mills, his…
Good news for those of you who've spent the last 15-years sitting on piles of Newsies fan fiction that you don't know what to do with (in other words, good news, me). Amazon is now launching a fan fiction platform that will allow you to publish and actually get paid for your work.
