Beware a jewelry company with a play on words in their slogan.

A bride-to-be in California is rocking an engagement ring that’s made from her fiancé’s wisdom tooth and she’s loving it.

Apologies to those of you with a big solitaire sparkler on your ring finger, but carat-heavy diamonds are no longer the apogee of engagement ring greatness. Throw away your rings, everyone! Throw them away now!

The Diamond Store™ has some information for you.

Janus Friis, the billionaire co-founder of Skype, is suing his ex-fiancee, a Danish popstar, demanding that she return numerous gifts he gave her, include a $471,000 engagement ring. In the spirit of scorched-earth jilted lovers everywhere, Friis also used the suit to accuse ex-fiancée Aura Dione of “multiple affairs…

Your marriage has ended. That sucks. You guys were great together. Really. And now that you’re not, there’s one thing you really should to do to move on: Make some money off of that engagement ring and throw yourself a vodka party. But how much is a ring worth? And how much should you sell it for?

Last night on the masculinist tragicomedy that is HBO’s Ballers, an intriguing plot line unfurled in which party-guy wide receiver Ricky (John David Washington) tries to make up for his philandering ways by buying estranged girlfriend Bella (Annabelle Acosta) a ring worth $400k.

Aren’t you just so tired of seeing gigantic perfect diamonds and shimmering bands of platinum on the left ring fingers of all your engaged friends? No? Can you pretend to be over it for the sake of this post? Great, thanks.

In today’s news, the Greek financial crisis continues to spiral, wildfires are burning across Alaska, and, oh yeah, Vanderpump Rules’ Katie Maloney and Tom “Schwartz” Schwartz are FINALLY ENGAGED. No big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does my engagement ring conjure a force field when I wield it against prying men? It feels as though it should. It certainly became my new knee-jerk protector—just as a middle finger, rolled eyes, and a husky “fuck you” were back in my single days.

Debbie Lopez dumped Joseph Torres, but kept the engagement ring. He sued to get it back, but a judge ruled Lopez could keep it because Torres never "properly" proposed when he gifted Lopez the $10,000 ring. The one she wore on her left hand? On her ring finger? You know, like any old gift ring?

You thought marriages ended too often because they are outdated, sexist arrangements that are flawed to begin with, but maybe it is because the box that the engagement ring comes in is obvious and bulky. Solution: Make the box slimmer.

Now that George Clooney gave his fiancée, human rights attorney Amal Alamuddin, "an ethically mined emerald-cut diamond estimated at 7-plus carats and two tapered baguettes set in platinum," it seems like there's officially a current trend in celebrity engagement rings: fucking gigantic.

I've never understood why men don't wear an engagement ring. Actually, scratch that: I understand why they didn't wear them in the past, when marriage was but the economic chess move of a lady, any lady from her Father to Some Other Dude. But Things Have Changed ™ so it's high time the lady-only engagement ring goes…