A man with unusual tastes is in critical condition after being caught "touching himself inappropriately" and stealing a stranger's dog—and then being shot when he tried to do it all over again in the same evening. If there's one kind of crime that doesn't pay, it's this kind.

This might sound like it's straight out of The Onion, but I assure you that it's true: An Australian woman really did receive over $140,000 Australian dollars because her dog ran her over in a freak accident.

This dog is absolutely savoring every moment of its bath, and I am so jealous.

Disturbing footage has emerged of Desmond Hague, the CEO of Centerplate (a company that provides catering for more than 300 major venues in North America ) brutally abusing a dog. Centerplate is disciplining Hague, but many feel that it's not enough.

I think this dog accurately depicts how this day is winding down. I too am not quite sure how to stop, so I think I'll just let my legs collapse, and slide on my belly until I come to a full stop. Pup has it figured out.

There are a lot of things to take away from the story. The first is that there are people out there who are horrible and will leave their dogs to die of heat exhaustion as they shop for low-price goods at unbelievable discounts. The second is that there are people who will spend 13 hours in a Walmart. What is the…

Jin Dan is a Pomeranian who reportedly became so "psychologically affected" by his new haircut that he walked around on his hind legs for two days, with devastatingly cute results.

This may make me a terrible person, but I'm starting to think I love it when animals become friends more than I like my own friends. My friends are cool any everything, but shit like this is just too adorable for words.

Over the weekend, one poor woman went through quite the ordeal. Last Thursday night, a New Jersey woman went on a first date with a man she met online. Seems pretty normal, right? Well, she decided to bring him home, and while she had her back turned in another room, buddy took the opportunity to take off with not…

I don't know who's the bigger problem here, the tattoo artist who surprised his dog with ink during her spleen surgery, or the unnamed veterinarian who allegedly allowed the inking. Either way, this is bad news all around, and the worst news is this: It's not yet illegal to tattoo your animal in New York.

Outrageous news out of LA: Rosa Torres and her four-year-old son finally found their lost dog at the Karma Rescue adoption agency. Yet the group gave the dog to another family, deeming the Torres family not worthy of Raffiki, an 8-month-old Rhodesian Ridgeback.

Theoretically, squirrels are cute and it'd be delightful to have a trained squirrel bustling around one's home, piling up nuts and candybars in a cool, dry little corner. Then again, squirrels seem like busybodies, don't they? They're always bustling and storing, finding new places to stuff what they think is…

ATTENTION. We have video of a corgi puppy falling asleep. I repeat. We have video of a CORGI puppy falling asleep. Brace yourselves for Internet impact in 3..2..1...

A cursory viewing of this little instance of interspecies squee might lead you to incorrectly assume that Elephant and Dog are friends. They are not. Elephant is clearly fucking with Dog while Dog is trying to sleep, probably after a long day of work, probably because Elephant is shiftless and doesn’t have a job. …

Hedgehog and dog, dog and hedgehog — together, what can they not accomplish. They can satisfy all of your wildest desires. For example: You want to go to the Moon? Why? Dog and hedgehog are on Earth. You want a million dollars? Why? Hedgehog likes to play with toilet paper rolls, and dog likes to watch. Toilet…

I cannot stop watching this man's master class performance of an attacking dog. This is some high-level method acting right here — Bryan Cranston doesn't have anything on this dude. I'm just not sure whether I should laugh, cry, or hide under my bed until this man no longer exists.

Actress Bella Thorne poses with "Snow White" on the red carpet at the 28th Annual Imagen Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Friday, August 16, 2013 in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)

DOG
Derpty doo, yummy yummy bone, bone, I love my bo—