I Thought This Elite Daily Essay About a Girl Realizing Her Date Had Died in a Car Crash Instead of 'Ghosting' Her Was a Parody, But It Is Actually Real 

Usually, a personal essay is based on something that has happened in a writer’s life that is personal to them. That’s why it is called a “personal essay.” Elite Daily, like XOJane before it, has been known to stretch this concept until it disintegrates into a soft pile of fragrant poo particles.

Scott Baio's Feud Over Costar's Death Has Morphed Into an Argument About His Penis Size

Like a very large succulent plant, Scott Baio requires attention every once in a while—whether he’s telling liberal snowflakes to “grow the blank up” and quit with “all of your antics of Russia,” or coldly speculating that his former Happy Days costar Erin Moran died of a drug addiction and remembering her as an…