In theory, preemptive Facebook stalking should serve to help would-be blind daters avoid an awkward first encounter. In practice, it can entangle you in a web of awkwardness and obligation, and then give people you never care to speak to again a means to contact you — crappily. In today's edition of Crap Email from a…
"Someone That I Used To Know" by Gotye, a man so heartbroken that he can't spell Gaultier properly, is all over the radio, on Saturday Night Live and deep inside your consciousness. It's the number one song on the Billboard charts. But have you listened to the lyrics of this track? They read like a Crap Email From a…
Were you looking for a story that involved a $120 million estate, marital infidelity, a prominent fashion designer, a lawsuit, international flights to see the dying, and a deathbed breakup contract? If so, you're in luck. The estate of C.C. Wang, Vera Wang's oil-millionaire dad, has prevailed in a lawsuit with Wang …
Most of us have received a crap email or two in our day. You know the type — the ex who tries to make you feel bad about yourself, the forgotten hookup who's convinced he was the most important person in your life, the date who inelegantly demands a second chance. But these are all garden-variety assholery compared to…
Yesterday, I wrote a post wherein I wasn't very nice to undifferentiated meat sack Rush Limbaugh in response to his on-air assertion that women who want free birth control must be whores. Without delay, his more fawning fans decided to briefly crawl out of their Confederate Flag Snuggies and give me a piece of their…
Judges are primarily known for one thing: their good judgment. But that is the opposite of what Chief U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull used when he decided to send an email to six of his "'old buddies' and acquaintances" containing an exceedingly racist joke about President Obama. Oh, and he sent it from his…
Last week, Virginia Republican Dave Albo entertained a crowd of his legislature buddies with a hilarious House floor story of how his wife wouldn't have sex with him because of Virginia's Mandatory Ultrasound Bill. Many were upset that locker room talk was occurring on the taxpayer's dime, and one reader wrote to…
Anyone who's ever watched Dr. Oz at work knows that he is a hack of the first order. He'll happily push whatever magical berry or miracle elixir will pay him, passing it off as essential to keep you from dying—or worse, getting fat. He's a women's magazine with a mouth. So we were not shocked when a tipster alerted us…
An embarrassing Republican has issued a textbook non-apology weeks after forwarding an email that called First Lady Michelle Obama "Mrs. YoMamma" and implied that she and the Grinch were twins separated at birth. He's sorry people got mad. He didn't mean to offend anyone. But can we all agree that the President and…
"Lauren" met "Mike" one night at the New York Philharmonic. Little is known about the exact nature of their interaction during their one date — though Lauren described it as "HORRIFIC" — but afterwards, Mike sent Lauren a 1605-word email reproach-cum-Jeremiad-cum-plea for a second date. It's now making the rounds,…
A reader messaged a dude on eHarmony. This is the decidedly unharmonious response she got in return. Read on for a tale of competition, baseball, and what a lady who "seems to feel she's attractive" should do to impress men.
Emily was going away for the summer and needed a subletter for her New York City apartment. Ray answered her Craigslist posting and initially seemed like a good fit. But when he flaked on her, Emily found someone else. And that's when things took a turn for the...unprofessional.
This CEFAD comes to us all the way from 1875, and the pen of one Lafcadio Hearn.
In some ways, living as an expat is still basically the stuff of one of those claustrophobic novels about stupid British people in colonial Kenya or whatever, or, like, The Sheltering Sky only maybe less trippy and with more bureaucracy.
So you go out on New Year's Eve. You meet a guy, he seems nice. You share a dance and a goodnight kiss and give him your number. He calls the next day; when you don't respond immediately, this arrives.
It's a pretty bad idea to contact a stranger and tell her she's hot because she looks like a young girl. Ed did this, to Abigail. And this very special CEFAD is re-enacted for your pleasure by weird bear creatures.
As we all know, the Internet is a magical place full of cat videos, cheap thongs, and complete racist fucks who hang out on dating sites trying — and occasionally managing — to appear normal enough to bother taking to.
After we noted that American Apparel is still experiencing pretty serious problems, spokeslawyer Peter Schey wrote in to set us straight on some stuff. And to say that "Abercrombie and Finch" totally had to pay a much bigger immigration fine!
A reader emailed us with screen captures of a conversation she had with a gentleman — and we use that term loosely — on OkCupid. What follows is a true story, fraught with ignorance, casual racism and assholery.
While our Crap Email series typically deals with shady mailings from dudes, today's letter comes to us from a woman whose husband's ex-girlfriend doesn't seem to understand why, in the words of Lady Gaga, she doesn't wanna be friends.
