40-Year-Old Man Chris Martin Throws Himself Willy Wonka-themed Birthday Party

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin had a Willy Wonka themed birthday party because he is a goddamn whimsical 40-year-old man and the whole of Hollywood should know it. On Friday, Martin reportedly transformed his Malibu abode into a sprawling Dahlian paradise complete with lollipop-shaped decorations and toadstools.
When People Try to Say White People Don’t Have Culture
In the February issue of InStyle, professional healthy person and View From the Top star Gwyneth Paltrow unequivocally put the frustrating assumption that white people have no culture to rest by offering the magazine her own version of “Um try again sweetie ;).”
The Paltrow-Martin Children Can Sing Too, So It's Only a Matter of Time
What happens when a talented actor/model/home-goods power broker procreates with a talented singer and philanthropist whose music inspires the freaking world? You get Apple and Moses Martin, children who can sing and are adorable, and who flossed these qualities at a Boys and Girls Club Benefit because they are also…
Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin Are Finally, Actually Divorced
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have finally, finally finalized their divorce, a process matched in length and absurdity only by that endless runway in the acclaimed film Fast & Furious 6. Because nothing pleases me more than comparing Earth’s most meticulously manicured divorce to a Vin Diesel franchise about…
Beyoncé's Reaction to a Chris Martin Song: 'This Is Awful'
Chris Martin—in conjunction with a Rolling Stone cover shot that screams “LOVE ME!” and “wyd...” at the same time—says he once wrote a song for Beyoncé that she rejected because it was bad.
Gwyneth Paltrow Says She and Her Ex Chris Martin Are More Like Brother and Sister Now
In this month’s Glamour, Gwyneth Paltrow talks about her current amicable relationship with Chris Martin, saying that her ex-husband has become “more like my brother.” We’ll assume she means it in a weird Flowers in the Attic way because those two—as we all recall fondly—have fucked at least twice.
Chris Martin Is Being Sued For Allegedly Running Over a Photographer With His Jeep
Did Chris Martin run over a paparazzo with his Jeep earlier this year while his family was in the car? I don’t know, Gawker doesn’t know, Shania Twain thinks no one needs to know, Fiona Apple knows but won’t tell us, and the man who was allegedly struck by Martin claims to know and is suing him because of it.
Gisele Almost Dumped Tom Brady for Impregnating His Ex Girlfriend
Remember back in 2007 when Bridget Moynahan announced that she was pregnant with Tom Brady’s baby after the couple had broken up and he had already started dating his now wife Gisele Bündchen? Of course you do! It was a terribly rough time for all of us! But you know who it was slightly rougher for? Gisele! (And…
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Still Brunch With Their Kids, FYI
Because that is what good parents do, according to Gwyneth.
This Week In Tabloids: JLaw Wants Chris Martin to Impregnate Her
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we move into a mansion in New Jersey only to find Gwyneth Paltrow has started sending us packages containing things like recipes for gluten-free versions of whatever we cooked the night before, moisturizers, cases of SmartWater, and sex tips based on what she’s “been observing through…
Here Is Coldplay's Fake Game of Thrones Musical
NBC hosted its first Red Nose Day telethon last night to benefit children living in poverty (read more here), and a standout was Coldplay’s 12-minute long mockumentary on the making of Game of Thrones: The Musical.
Kris Jenner Has Finally Become Friends With Everyone In Los Angeles
Kris Jenner and boyfriend Corey Gamble went on a double date with Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus last night because Kris Jenner is friends with everyone in Los Angeles, including any Los Angelenos currently reading this, so don’t be surprised when Kris Jenner bangs on your door this evening wondering why you haven’t left…
What Were Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence Talking About?
Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin ate a “romantic brunch” together at NYC’s Tavern on the Green over the weekend. An observer told Us Weekly that the two were “whispering to each other and giggling,” but what were they whispering to each other and giggling about?