The World Will Soon Have Millennial Pink Kit KatsÂ
While millennial pink may be on its way out (Pantone’s color of the year is a deep violet, so get ready to start…
Now Chocolate Could Go Extinct, Fabulous
Another daily disaster to file away into the glove compartment of our hearts: according to a new report in Business…
Gigantic Chocolate Bear Statue Kidnapped Last Year Returns to Factory
A priceless, gigantic statue of a bear being smothered in chocolate that was stolen from a Russel Stover factory more…
Tens Of Thousands Of Chocolate Eggs Wash Up On German IslandÂ
Guess what! As it turns out, life sometimes offers more than a grinding trudge towards death. Residents of the German…
Toblerone, Wyd?
The makers of Toblerone, that goofy looking Swiss chocolate bar with a bunch of triangles on it, are having fun messing…
Known Frauds the Mast Brothers Retreat From the Cruel Schoolyard of the Chocolate Industry
Another chapter is unfolding in the story of the fraudulent chocolate makers the Mast Brothers, dubbed the “Milli…
Hell Candy Face-Off: Pumpkin Spice Latte M&Ms Versus the Dreaded Dutch FicoriceÂ
Welcome to Cavity Connoisseur, a new occasional column about refined sugar. It has to be occasional or else it will…
Why the Hell Are People Licking this Statue of Benedict Cumberbatch?Â
You may have seen, recently, the life-sized Benedict Cumberbatch made of chocolate. Well, the creators left it in a…
Study: Chocolate Might Be as Good for the Brain as Exercise
Overpriced Lululemon pants to the left, to the left: chocolate might be as good for your brain (but not necessarily…
Your Valentine's Day Chocolate Will Be More Expensive, Love Is Dead
Chocolate prices are soaring because Asian markets are in love with the cocoa and the global economy cares nothing…
​Ebola's Next Potential Victim: Chocolate
I have some bad news. The spread of Ebola, the horrific disease that has claimed the lives of nearly 4,000 people in…
End Times: Nutella Shortage and Trader Joe's Almond Butter Recall
Grab your spoons in terror because your delicious spreads are in danger. Danger! From Trader Joe’s recalling their…
This Chocolate Bathroom Is Entirely Unnecessary But I Want It SO Much
My God. It's all made of chocolate. Look at it. Look at it, everyone.
Cambridge University Is Currently Hiring a 'Doctor of Chocolate'
Hey, laaaaaaaaaaadies! Cambridge University has announced that they're seeking a "doctor of chocolate" to spend three…
Chocolate Is Good for Old Lady Brains
It's been definitively proven on this very site that nothing is better than sex, not even chocolate. But for old…
This Beer Smells and Tastes Like a Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup
You can now get beers that taste like anything — ok, well, mainly bacon, but still, the craft beer market has recently…
Canadian Competiton Bureau Unwraps Chocolate Price-Fixing Conspiracy
Just when you thought the FBI, NSA and Verizon-teamed privacy infringement was the most egregious overstepping of The…
Joe Biden Gives Child's Adorable Gun Proposal a Written Endorsement
Vice President Joe Biden and an intrepid second-grader have joined forces to reform gun control based on one simple…
Genius Thieves Steal 5 Metric Tons of Nutella
The majority of us, I would guess, live fairly upstanding lives. We wake up, go to work, pay taxes, say 'please' and…
Consumers Believe That Candy Stamped with a Green Label Is Somehow Healthy Candy
America's largest purveyors of fine Easter chocolates think you're dumb, so dumb, in fact, that they think a green…