Chicago Will Withhold High School Diplomas Unless Students Have a Job, College, or Military Plans

Mayor Rahm Emanuel has made Chicago Public Schools the first big-city system to require a job, a college acceptance letter, gap-year program enrollment or enlistment in the military as a condition of graduating from high school. Aside from the obvious issues with the school system potentially withholding a diploma…

Attorney General Jeff Sessions Calls for 'Proactive Policing' in Op-Ed

Earlier this month, attorney general Jeff Sessions—David the Gnome’s racist cousin—commenced a review of “consent decrees,” agreements between the federal government and local police forces to address issues of systemic racism and other prejudices. Today, in an op-ed published by USA Today, Sessions broadcasted his…

Women In Major Cities Across the U.S. Protest Trump and Pussy-Grabbing at #GOPHandsOffMe Rallies

At rallies across the United States today, women will call for GOP leaders to un-endorse Donald Trump and reject his racist, xenophobic, pussy-grabbing rhetoric. In New York, protesters dressed in black amassed outside Trump Tower early this morning, shouting, “GOP, hands off me!” and “Donald thinks he runs this town,…

Rudy Giuliani Concerned About Dead People Voting for Hillary Clinton

Rudy Giuliani, head advisor to Donald Trump and taxidermic gopher, is fretting over the slim but mighty corpse voter contingency. On Sunday, he told CNN’s Jake Tapper that the election could tip in Hillary Clinton’s favor due to corrupt voting practices—keeping dead people registered, for instance—in the inner cities.