Shocking New Report Says Dairy is Fine
Dairy bad? No! Dairy good!*
Some Dinner Party Guests Have Reportedly Been Wrapping MDMA in Cheese and Calling it 'Brieing'
What happens when you combine cheese, MDMA, and strong female friendships? According to some posh British lady who spoke to Metro on Wednesday, the answer is “brieing.”
'Big Cheese Festival' Runs Out of Cheese, 'Ricotta Be Kidding Me!', Says Attendees
There are few things that could get me to pull out my wallet faster than the chance to buy tickets to something called “The Big Cheese Festival,” but in the case of an event with precisely that name held over the weekend in Brighton, England, I would have suffered intense regrets for spending the cash.
Should You Eat a Little Bit of Cheese Every Day?
Lactose-intolerant people, nutritionists, skeptics, shield your eyes. People who can at least sort of digest cheese and deceptively convenient science, hello.
Welcome to the Fyre Festival, But for Cheese
I was gonna call this blog just “Parmageddon” but Metro UK beat me to the punchline with the even better “Cheddarmageddon.” How does that happen??
Who Stole This 'Masterpiece' Cheese?
A heist mystery for your Tuesday morning: Who stole two big, beautiful, valuable blocks of cheddar from the the Yeovil agricultural show in Somerset, England?
Wisconsin Cheese Still the Big Cheddar
Guess where the top three cheeses at the 19th Biennial U.S. Championship Cheese Contest were from?
The USDA Bought 11 Million Pounds of Surplus Cheese for Food Banks
All cheese news is good cheese news (unless of course that cheese news is, “Hey cheesehead, we’re all outta cheese!”), but Tuesday’s biggest cheese news is particularly exceptional. Not only is it about an abundance of cheese, it’s about putting that cheese to good use.
Is Galbani String Cheese Sexist? IDK But It Is Bad
A reader wrote in this week to note a peculiar thing about Galbani (formerly known as Sorrento) String Cheese: the regular fat cheese has what appears to be an anthropomorphized string cheese dude on it, while the reduced fat ones have an anthropomorphized string cheese lady on it. Puzzling.
Some Wisconsin Burglar Is $70,000 Richer in Stolen Cheese [UPDATED]
They say that crime doesn’t pay, but $70,000 in cheese certainly does.
Cheese Is Addictive Like Drugs So I Guess I'm a Junkie
A valuable study has found that cheese is actually as addictive as drugs, and now I think I owe a lot of my family members some reconciliatory phone calls. Because it happened to me: my cheese addiction ruined my relationships.
I Have 8 Types of Cheese in My Fridge Right Now But Not Kraft Singles, Thank God
Last month, Kraft announced that they were recalling thousands of boxes of their “cheese” singles. On Thursday, they went further, recalling 335,000 cases on top of the 36,000 already taken off the market, because more customers reported that they too had eaten a piece of wrapper plastic instead of straight cheese.
Parmigiano-Reggiano to Pornhub: Get Your Porn Away From Our Cheese
What do you know about Parmigiano-Reggiano? Well, what you should know is that it is a specific, valuable type of parmesan cheese—“The King of Cheeses”—and also that under no circumstances should you put out an advertisement associating King Cheese with pornography.
Woman Goes on Trial for Alleged 'Magic Cheese' Scam
Turn your eyes to France, justice enthusiasts, because there’s quite a case unfolding across the Atlantic. A woman is currently on trial for allegedly bilking people out of hundreds and in some cases thousands of dollars, with pie-in-the-sky promises they could make and sell fancy cheeses to French beauty product…
Velveeta's Social Media Accounts Are So Amazingly Weird
Whoever is running Velveeta's social media accounts is going hard after the stoner millenial demographic lately. And it's fantastic.
This Bar Will Do Your Laundry While You Get Drunk and Eat Cheese
You know what one of the worst things about doing laundry is? That you can't get stupid drunk while waiting for your delicates to dry. I mean, theoretically you can, but you run a very high risk of drunkenly joining some underground laundry secret society. Those are a total pain in the ass to get out of, trust me.
Milk Is Great for Your Joints, and Cheese Is Destroying Them
When I was a kid, it was all about milk. "Set the table! Wash your hands! Milk or water?" was the refrain at every mealtime. Not juice, not iced tea, not soda (Diet Coke wouldn't take hold for another decade)—just water or milk, milk or water, simple as that, as though the two were interchangeable. Nonfat for my mom,…
Philly Has a Street Harasser Who Drapes His Dick in Swiss Cheese
A man in Philadelphia (because of course a man in Philadelphia) has apparently taken serial street harassment (and the phrase "dick cheese") to a whole new level grossness by applying slices of Swiss cheese to his exposed penis and asking women to perform various sex acts. On his cheese-adorned penis.
Terrifying Velveeta Shortage Threatens to Ruin Dip Season
A looming nationwide shortage of Velveeta threatens to make the leanest dip season since the great ranch dressing famine of 1986. What are we supposed to melt and serve in a bowl during the Super Bowl now, huh? Crayons?
Milwaukee to Salt Its Snowy Roads with Delicious Cheese Products
In news that makes me really hungry, the city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin is testing the use of mozzarella and provolone cheese brine to make winter roads less slippery.
