Next time you reach for almond milk in the supermarket, imagine a chorus of dairy farmers standing behind you, asking if you’re really gonna spend your money on that... stuff. Whatever it really is.
When’s the last time you bought one of those frosty cans of frozen orange-juice concentrate? When’s the last time you saw somebody buy one? When’s the last time you even saw somebody take one out of the grocery-store freezer and consider buying it?
The Sausage & Egg McMuffin is the best thing that God has invented so far, and eating one is better than having an orgasm, even one when you’re fully clothed. But it turns out, those little ecstasy pucks are a tall order when they’re served in the afternoon.
Lucky Charms is one of the worst cereals around and the marshmallows taste like styrofoam.
A recent Pete Wells column in the New York Times raises an important question: what are nice things even good for? Not, Wells argues, for standardized populist breakfast classics, such as the deli bacon egg and cheese. The good old regs BEC, and the no-name NYC bodegas that make them (as well as the equivalent trucks…
Have you guys heard the one about the woman who made yogurt from her own vagina? No? Well then let me tell you a story that begins with the word "flora" and ends with the internet collectively losing its shit because a woman did something with her vagina and talked about it.
Stop buying breakfast tables because they're nothing more than a giant junk-mail bucket because nobody ever eats breakfast anymore because the 1960s are over. Sadly, our good friend cereal is a casualty.
There are those among us who would love nothing more than to prove that breakfast, contrary to all the studies, does not mean that much, or not as much as we thought, or doesn't do the things we maybe thought it did. Don't listen to them!
This firm but patient dad dispenses the best parenting wisdom this side of Dr. Spock to his crying child, upset because he presumably just got in trouble.
Very important breakfast news: It seems McDonald's is considering the possibility of extending breakfast hours. Any hint of such a development, however faint, should be greeted with enthusiasm, joy and possibly even dancing in the streets. Because HASH BROWNS.
It turns out that breakfast isn't the most important meal of the day. Most weight-loss programs and diets insist that eating breakfast is the key to setting a good pace for the day and helps people avoid snacking in the afternoon. But new research suggests that's not the case.
Taco Bell, we need to talk.
Cereal is awesome, isn't it? Well, except for all that chewing and sogginess, cereal is pretty awesome, but, jeez, doesn't your jaw get tired from masticating all those corn shavings and marshmallow bits? It'd be way better if you could just get that cloying cereal taste without all the effort, if cereal just slid…
This sunny, almost-warm Sunday morning, CBS put together a cheerful little slideshow featuring the most eccentric and, dare we say, demented breakfast cereal mascots. The slideshow featured retro iterations of Tony the Tiger, the homoerotic trio of rice-puffing elves, Snap, Crackle and Pop, Franken Berry, the Quaker…
Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen. Tell me, breakfast, after so many years of being on top, of being shoved down our throats as the most important meal of the day, of feeding us lies, what does it feel like to suddenly be at the bottom? Not that good, I'll bet. Maybe you should try commiserating with your…
Kellogg, that cursive-adoring purveyor of fine, sugary breakfast cereals, is recalling one of its most asymmetrical cereals — Frosted Mini-Wheats. According to the Wall Street Journal, the company will shell out a cool $30 million to cover a recall of Frosted Mini-Wheats in the U.S. due to a possible contamination by…
You know what? Fuck it. I'm calling it. Everyone just do whatever you want. We're all going to die, we're all going to get cancer, and with a new study coming out every day about some other seemingly innocuous thing that's methodically dissolving your brain, I say we all find a hot tub somewhere and chill out.