Teen Bible Decorator to Haters: 'DON'T @ ME WITH DUMB SHIT'
On December 24, 2016, a 16-year-old named Reagan tweeted something no teen had ever tweeted before (probably): she had…
Hear Ye, Children: Noah's Ark Is Open
I have some fairly significant news to share with you: Noah’s Ark is real, officially.
Finally, Someone Translated the Bible into Emojis
Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, for at last, all 66 books of the King James Version of the bible have been translated…
Republican Candidates, Ranked By Who God Loves Most
Hello. It’s God.
Donald Trump Finally Reveals Favorite Bible Passage That He Made Up
Donald Trump, decomposing ear of corn and Republican presidential frontrunner, has been all over town, telling anyone…
The Book of Yeezus Is a Bible For Kanye West Disciples
If all you’ve ever wanted in life is a version of the Bible that swaps out all mentions of “God” with “Kanye West,”…
Heroin-Laced Bible Plot Foiled by Dog
Two people in a far-away land called "southwest Ohio" attempted to smuggle a heroin-laced Bible into the county jail. A…
Cheerleaders Display Biblical Verses on Banners Because America
Thank the Lawd! Cheerleaders of a Texan High School just won a hard-fought battle against sinners: a judge has ruled…
Bible-Toting High School Cheerleaders Continue Futile Quest to Get God to Care About Football
Cheerleaders at one Texas high school have fought tooth, nail, and poms to hold signs containing scripture verses at…
Values Voters Would Love it if Ladies Could Refrain From Dressing Like Whores
In case you're wondering why your guy who normally sells you ecstasy is plum out of pills, here's why: it's Values…
The Right-Wing Evangelical ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ for Isaac’s Potential Targets
The cloud conglomerate known as Isaac is twist and shouting its way into the superheated waters of the Gulf of Mexico,…
National Organization for Marriage Unmoved by Infographic of the Bible’s Many Awful Marriage Possibilities
An infographic purporting to show the bible's actual nightmarish definition of marriage in the years when people still…
Jeff Foxworthy’s New Bible Trivia Show Features Comically Oversized Bibles
Before we start worrying about what Jeff Foxworthy's new biblical trivia show means for the future of Inherit the Wind…
Wait, Now You Can Get Kicked Out of College for Watching Glee?
Conservative Christian Bob Jones University is not a place for mincing namby pamby liberals with a dancing, prancing…
The Bible Says Teachers Don't Deserve Decent Salaries, According to One Horrible Politician
If you thought that God had never really given much thought to teacher's salaries, you'd be wrong. At least according…
Concerned Voter Wants to Know if Newt Gingrich will Legalize Polygamy
Smirking blowhard Newt Gingrich has been threatening to run for President for decades now, and this year, he's closer…
NY Clerk Resigns Rather Than Enable Gay Marriages
"I had to choose between my job and my god," Barker town clerk Laura Fotusky told Politico. In her resignation letter,…
A Reading From The Gospel According To Tron
In this week's reading, the role of God will be played by Jeff Bridges, the role of Virgin Mary by Olivia Wilde, and…
Publisher Removed Gender-Inclusive Language From New Bible To Protect Sales
In 2005, Zondervan released an edition of the New International Version of the Bible that included language…
Two Women Arrested For Allegedly Smuggling Crystal Meth In Bible
The ladies were trying to give the meth-filled Holy Book to a man in prison. The dude's been jailed since October… for…