Today in places rich people are going, Natalie Portman and her hot ballerino husband Benjamin Millepied are packing up and moving to Paris. Why, Natalie? America has been so good to you! Remember Phantom Menace? We forgave you for that. We forgave you.

Natalie Portman acts so nice and innocent, but she might be sneakier than she looks. It seems that she and fiancé Benjamin Millepied might have gone and gotten secretly married and not bothered to tell us about it. Should our feelings be hurt? Well, yes, if the wedding-like bands they were both wearing at last night's…

Mike Huckabee has issued a statement to clarify his remarks about Natalie Portman's womb:

This very special episode of Midweek Madness is better late than never!

Natalie Portman's rep has confirmed to People that the actress is pregnant and engaged to Black Swan choreographer Benjamin Millepied. All other tabloid editors are kicking themselves right about now for failing to detect the baby bump.

If you haven't heard, Natalie Portman achieved a Mr. Salty-style level of skinnytude during the filming of Black Swan by eating tiny meals and working out for hours on end. Now some people are celebrating her "discipline." Please.