Suggested Scents for Perfumed Men's Briefs

C’mon, ladies — let’s have a little woman-to-woman chat about the scent of men’s underpants. Have you noticed how at best they smell like cotton and detergent? Not like White Diamonds or your grandma’s tomato bisque or wet pavement after the first rain in summer, but like stupid soap and stupid fabric and I bet you’re just sick of it. Thankfully French underwear manufacturer Le Slip Francais will soon be marketing perfumed briefs for men so that you can wear them around your neck like a garland in the way that you’ve always wanted to.

Le Slip Francais has many investors interested in their creation and have been raising money for the underwear’s development through a crowdfunding page where the company has already gathered nearly $25,000. According to Le Slip Francais’ founder, 27-year-old Guillaume Gibault, the briefs will be packed full of micro-capsules that release a scent when the wearer moves.

From Raw Story:

Gibault told AFP the briefs will be scented thanks to micro-capsules full of homemade perfume that will be incorporated into the cotton used to make the underpants in the Lille region of northern France.

As soon as the lucky owner of the briefs moves around, the capsules will release the perfume and the scent will last up to 30 washes, he says.

According to Gibault, the scent will be “quite a masculine perfume, not very strong, based on musk and pears.”

Hey, Gibault, are you sure you come from France and not Snoresville, USA? Because that’s the most boring thing I’ve ever heard. Make the perfume super strong! Make it so strong that you can smell it through a pair of pants and it overpowers every other scent within 100 feet. Then come up with some better scents.

Look, here are some “masculine” suggestions that I came up with right off the top of my head and I promise you that they’re all better than stupid musk and pears:

Bear trap
Thermos
Cake Boss
Teal
Hemmingway
Chicken fried steak
Whatever Cal in Titanic smelled like
Barrel fire
Underwear that smells like a cake and tastes like a cake and is an actual cake
Village People
Detergent (instructions: do not use real detergent)

See? Try thinking outside the box! Or hope back into the box and consider the simplest solution to underwear that doesn’t smell good — wash them more often, change them more often or buy a new pair.