Study Confirms Rich Men Should Shut Up

Ever had to listen to some well-heeled dude prattle wrongly on about a subject of which he very confidently knew absolutely nothing? Of course you have!

A new study out of University College of London and Australian Catholic University confirms that rich men rarely know what they’re talking about, which has yet to prompt a single one of them to shut the fuck up:

“Study participants were asked to assess their knowledge of 16 math topics on a five-point scale ranging from “never heard of it” to “know it well, understand the concept.” Crucially, three of those topics were complete fabrications: “proper numbers,” “subjunctive scaling” and “declarative fractions.” Those who said they were knowledgeable about the fictitious topics were categorized as BSers.”

This is how I know I’m poor: I do not need to see any of those 16 math topics to rate myself as never having heard of them. The study found that men pretend to know shit they don’t way more than women do and the wealthiest among them were the worst offenders:

“Using a data set spanning nine predominantly English-speaking countries, researchers delineated a number of key findings. First, men are much more likely than women to master the art of hyperbole, as are the wealthy relative to the poor or middle class. North Americans, meanwhile, tend to slip into this behavior more readily than English speakers in other parts of the globe. And if there were a world championship, as a true devotee might appreciate, the title would go to Canada, data show.”

America topping the list is not a shocker, as the entire world continues to wait for our president to utter a single coherent sentence, much less a fact. But Canada! You’re supposed to be better than this. I’m not mad, just disappointed.