Marijuana poisoning in pets is on the rise, according to the Animal Poison Control Center, which reports that calls regarding pot pet poisonings have increased 30 percent since 2009.

The actual number of cannabis poisoning calls was only 320 in 2013, which is a really, really, really small number, considering that there are about 83.3 million dogs owned in the United States. But experts believe that the calls recorded don't represent the actual number of marijuana poisonings, because if "some ding-a-ling gave his dog marijuana, they wouldn't tell [doctors] that."

The problem is that dogs—who are more likely to get into their owner's stash or gobble up a pot cookie or brownie—can't really party.

"Animals don't react the same way as humans," explained Dr. Tina Wismer, director of the Animal Poison Control Center. "They may become sedated, act drunk and wobbly, but about 25 percent go the other way. They become agitated, have high heart rates, they're in distress. Most dogs become incontinent. They stagger around dribbling urine everywhere."

Also, they can die. And that's a huge buzzkill.