Star Trek’s William Shatner Really Just Went To Space On Jeff Bezos’ Penis Rocket

Anytime I think there’s a chance we’re not living in a simulation, something happens to blow that out of the water. Today, it was 90-year-old Star Trek actor and Priceline “negotiator” William Shatner going to actual space.

The nonagenarian, who many fellow olds remember as Captain James T. Kirk from both the Star Trek films and TV series, became the oldest person to go into space on Wednesday when he boarded Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ dick-shaped rocket for a 10-minute flight.

In a surprise to absolutely no one, Bezos is reportedly a lifelong Star Trek fan, so now he’s now trying to turn it into a reality show. Bezos he flew Shatner as a comped guest alongside Chris Boshuizen, a co-founder of satellite company Planet Labs, and software executive Glen de Vries (who CNN notes were “both paying customers”) as well as Audrey Powers, Blue Origin’s vice president of mission and flight operations.

It’s just incredible irony that the Priceline guy who tried to sell us on affordable travel for years got launched into space for zero dollars. It’s also hilarious that Shatner’s intergalactic moment has been shaded by critics for his heavy-handedness with the block button on Twitter.

For some, Shatner apparently just blocked them because he wasn’t a fan of the BDE he was portrayed as having (seems like a weird thing to push back on, my guy, but do you). For others, apparently there is some serious Star Trek- adjacent tea to be spilled. A cyber reporter for MIT’s Technology Review tweeted that he and many others were blocked by Shatner because they were previously “co-workers with someone who said Star Trek is a political TV show and as a result Shatner blocked everyone who ever worked at that company.”

How Shatner has not become a Marvel villain at this point, the world may never know, though I supposed getting to be Captain Kirk IRL is a decent enough trade-off.