In the weeks and months to come, we’ll get to watch Justin Timberlake continue to awkwardly promote a project no one seems much excited by, including himself. And then one day it will be over, and then not long after that, the earth will overheat and everything will be over. Things to look forward to.
It’s not that I really thought Justin Timberlake would disappear off the face of the earth after receiving apathetic-to-scathing reviews for Man of the Woods and trudging his way through a Super Bowl Half Time performance that almost everyone, aside from the talk show hosts, seems to have found underwhelming at best. But it’s still kind of weird to see him showing up places like a vacuum cleaner salesman trying to get us interested in his product. Justin, we’d rather listen to an actual vacuum.
So anyway, Timberlake called into Ellen to talk to Ryan McKenna, the “Super Bowl Selfie Kid” (a catchy moniker I’m sure we’ll all hold in our heads and close to our hearts as civilization slides into the oceans), on whose phone he was captured while he reminded us of his career-defining contributions to the Trolls soundtrack during the Half Time Show. I should back up and say that Ellen DeGeneres had McKenna on her show because she is apparently as mesmerized by viral fame as a toddler watching a slime video.
“It’s nice to meet you finally,” said Timberlake. I’d argue that they already met. What do I know? McKenna seemed genuinely thrilled to experience his second encounter with Timberlake in less than a week. I bet that made Timberlake feel good. Ellen called Timberlake’s Half Time Show “flawless” and described Timberlake as “perfection.” I bet that did, too.
In other news, earlier this week it was announced that Timberlake will open a pop-up store in New York today that carries a corresponding item for every song on Man in the Woods. Here’s your chance to wear the album you aren’t listening to! There are Jordans for “Higher,” sunglasses for “Wave,” a cooler for “Midnight Summer Jam,” and a flannel for...“Flannel.” There’s also a flask for Sauce.
Everyone needs something to believe in, I guess.