Spike TV Makes Us Stabby • Woman Arrested For Streaking In IHOP

• The douche-y dudes at Spike have compiled a list of the top 7 “Butterbodies” (you can guess what that means). Their absurd roundup includes the impeccably gorgeous Salma Hayek. What are they smoking? •

• Can depression ever be good for you? Some scientists are arguing that depression serves an evolutionary function, and that medication may keep sufferers from achieving their full potential. • A new study found that teenagers whose mothers drank while they were in the womb are more likely to find the smell of alcohol appealing than their peers with teetotaler moms. • Doctors urged the Obama administration on Wednesday to make a major research commitment to curing and preventing prostate cancer, including a screening technique they call the “man-o-gram.” • A pro-vaccine doctor and author of the book Autism’s False Prophets has been receiving death threats from angry parents for his uncompromising stance on vaccination. • Stephanie Sheffler, a 16-year-old novelist and one of 11 children, is currently hard at work on her second novel and has plans to write a series of historical fiction books. • An Austrian woman was found on a remote farm where she spent the last 40 years working as a slave. • Slovakian model Katarina Van Derham has been chosen (with a little help from Maxim readers) as the new St. Pauli Girl. Uh, congrats? • The U.N. is currently investigating 217 allegations of sexual abuse against its peacekeepers in Eastern Congo. • A single snowmobiler has been blamed for the death of 57 ducks. It appears that after skidding into several mallards on an iced-over river, the snowmobiler turned around and made several more passes at the surviving birds. • A 19-year-old girl was arrested in Wisconsin after running drunkenly through IHOP with her pants around her ankles. •