Sorry, Cosmo: Geeks Can Be Jerks, Too

“He may be bit of a geek,” a recent Cosmo piece begins, “but the guy you’ve always thought of as ‘just a friend’ could be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.” Or, you know, he could be a total jackass.

To celebrate the film She’s Out Of My League, which appears to be yet another movie based around an unlikely relationship between the stereotypical “dorky dude” and the stereotypical “hot girl,” Cosmo suggests that we all should consider dating the Brian Krakows and Duckie Dales in our lives for reasons that seem to have been plucked from Encyclopedia Stereotypica. Let’s take a look at a few of their pro-geek dating points, shall we?

Although the dumb jock thing is a total cliche, you’re unlikely to meet a dorky guy who can’t string together a sentence and carry on an intelligent conversation.

Oh, that’s right! The “dumb jock” thing is a total cliche, but the “smart dork” thing isn’t a cliche at all! Everyone knows that every single dorky, awkward person on earth also has an IQ of 140+. Haven’t you guys ever seen The Big Bang Theory? That’s totally representative of every geek on Earth. I saw it on television, so it must be so!

Sure, he may secretly want to get it on with his super hot neighbor, but knowing that you’re the hottest girl he’s ever been with will probably keep him from cheating.

Is this or is this not one of the most pathetic things you’ve ever read? What kind of relationship is based on this kind of gross “I’m so much hotter than him, he won’t cheat on me” mentality outside of 7th grade?

He was probably bullied during high school so he’ll be sympathetic when you vent about the office bitch…and help you plot a plan to bring her down.

Ah yes, the geek sympathy card. As someone who rocked coke-bottle lenses and front teeth that turned in the opposite direction in middle school, I certainly understand the trauma of growing up on the dorkier side of things. But the creepy wave of geeky guys who use their awkward pasts to justify heinous behaviors in adulthood, particularly the manipulation of women, has really got to stop. The faux “nice guy” who was “there all along” doesn’t automatically get to get in your pants, or treat other people like shit just because someone shoved him in a locker in 7th grade. Sorry dudes. It doesn’t work that way.

The notion that geeks are some weird breed of angelic, flawless dudes who would never be mean, never cheat, never lie, never hurt you, and are owed your love and affection somehow is extremely tired and ridiculous, as is the heavy reliance on high school stereotypes to push some sort of flipped romantic ideal. Not every jock is straight out of Varsity Blues, and not every geek is a knight in shining armor, and if you need to go through a stereotypes checklist in order to justify dating someone, the problem you have in finding a decent relationship can probably be found in the mirror.