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Someone Tell This Tennessee Mom That It's OK She Kinda Wants to Fuck Cam Newton

Illustration for article titled Someone Tell This Tennessee Mom That Its OK She Kinda Wants to Fuck Cam Newton

On Tuesday, the Charlotte Observer ran a cute letter from a reader who is mad at Cam Newton, but perhaps not for the reason she thinks.

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“Tennesee Titans fan Rosemary Plorin of Nashville attended Sunday’s game against the Carolina Panthers with her fourth-grade daughter,” prefaced the Observer. “On Monday, she sent us this note she wrote to Panthers’ quarterback Cam Newton.”

Dear Mr. Newton, writes Rosemary Plorin:

Congratulations on your win in Nashville today. Our team played well, but yours played better. Kudos to the Panthers organization.

That game happened to be my nine year old daughter’s first live NFL experience. She was surprised to see so many Panthers’ fans sitting in our section of the stadium; that doesn’t happen much at fourth grade football games. And she was excited we were near the end zone, so we would be close to the “action,” particularly in the second half.

Because of where we sat, we had a close up view of your conduct in the fourth quarter. The chest puffs. The pelvic thrusts. The arrogant struts and the ‘in your face’ taunting of both the Titans’ players and fans. We saw it all.

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Plorin is referring to the traditionally demonstrative Newton’s two-yard rush late in the game for a touchdown that he then followed up by “dabbing on em,” as the kids say.

Plorin writes, “to Cam”:

Many Titans fans booed you, a few offering instructive, but not necessarily family friendly, suggestions as to how you might change your behavior.

My daughter sensed the change immediately – and started asking questions. Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?

“Why are you adjusting your jeans like that, Mommy?”

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

I could tell she was still thinking about it as we boarded a shuttle back to our car. “I guess he doesn’t have kids or a Mom at home watching the game,” she added.

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Mom will be thinking about it too, sweetie. Mom will think about it long and hard all night.


Image via AP

Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

“honey don’t look at the aggressive black man who has the audacity to look like he enjoys himself. look at these sexually harassed cheerleaders who have made $0.05 cents since the beginning of this year. GOOD CLEAN FAMILY FUN”