Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Someone Please Explain to Alex Rodriguez What 'Big D Energy' Means

Sometimes trying to look like you're okay after a breakup doesn't go as planned

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Image for article titled Someone Please Explain to Alex Rodriguez What 'Big D Energy' Means
Image: Andy Lyons (Getty Images)

Alex Rodriguez is doing his best to remain at the top of the breakup leaderboardbut perhaps he is trying a little too hard? After his much-discussed birthday trip to St. Tropez, A-Rod posted a picture of himself to his Instastory, obviously feeling cute. It was a very average photo, but the caption was something very different. “Stepping out with the big D energy... determined, darling & dapper AF,” Rodriguez chose to write, despite the fact that he has enough money to have someone write something better for him.

Image for article titled Someone Please Explain to Alex Rodriguez What 'Big D Energy' Means
Screenshot: Instagram

The D stands for dick, Alex, which is what you look like when you write “jokes” like this.

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Perhaps A-Rod chose these words because he didn’t want to falsely advertise the size of his schlong lest his ex decide to write a post of her own, but come on, man: dapper? No one ever won a breakup narrative by proving themselves to be the most darling and dapper. This attempt to bring new meaning to the D also opens up the opportunity for other horrible people, like me, to apply their own D-words to the conversation.

ARod is stepping out with big dad bod energy. Big dumped by a 52-year-old energy. Big didn’t-he-use-steroids-so-why-does-he-still-get-to-commentate-during-Yankees-games energy. Big dumb caption energy. Big damn-how-much-teeth-whitening-does-a-person-need energy.

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