Some Dude Is Sending A Vibrator Into Space

Illustration for article titled Some Dude Is Sending A Vibrator Into Space

Folks expect a certain kind of behavior when your name is David "SexToy Dave" Levine. And so Levine, the CEO of a leading Internet adult product distributor, is leading a team that will launch the first vibrator into space.

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According to reports,

The Vibrating Bullet brand product making the mission is no ordinary vibrator. The toy had to be developed to withstand temperatures of -75 degrees Fahrenheit, conditions 10 times beyond normal cosmic radiation and the elements that are present at an altitude of 100,000 feet, which is three times higher than the cruising altitude of a typical jetliner.

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The vibrator will ascend into space via a solar-powered helium balloon outfitted with trackind devices and GPD, and should travel 100 miles before SexToy Dave and his friends get it back. Interested parties can follow the vibe's progress on the company's blog.

And if you're wondering why our civilization needs a vibrator that can withstand space travel, I mean, come on. If I had to choose between the regular vibrator and the one built to withstand cosmic radiation and extreme temperatures, I'd take the latter, thanks.

Sex Toy Company Launching Vibrator into Space [OC Weekly]

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DISCUSSION

Dr. Scott: This sonic transducer... it is I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory physio-molecular transport device?

Brad: You mean... A VIBRATOR

Dr. Scott: Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. A WORKING VIBRATOR? But it seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. A PERFECT VIBRATOR? A device capable of breaking down solid matter A BROKEN VIBRATOR? and then projecting it through space and, who knows, perhaps even time itself. A COSMIC VIBRATOR! VIBRATORS IN SPAAAACE

...Any other Rocky Horror fans? First thing I thought of.