Why not cry it out over the long weekend?
- Did the president secretly die on Tuesday? Ha ha ha, I’m just kidding about this question of course! [CNN]
- John Hickenlooper is reportedly being urged by his staff, and now also by me, to drop out of the 2020 Democratic presidential primary. [Politico]
- They keep suing, they keep keep suing (to see the president’s tax returns). [NBC News]
- Happy Tank Day, everyone. [CBS News]
- Border Patrol officials are pretending to condemn the racism and misogyny intrinsic to their agency. [New York Times]
- People the world over wonder what Ivanka Trump’s actual job is supposed to be! [BBC]
- Did you know that Chris Cillizza, a man who has soft noodles where his brain should be, reportedly makes six figures? [Twitter]
This has been Barf Bag.