So many celebrities dressed up for Halloween last night, and so many of them looked bad! It’s truly wild to think that you could be that rich with that much access to literally any number of stylists and designers and upscale Spirit Halloween boutiques, the likes of which we plebes have never even heard of, and still not be able to come up with anything better than fucking Carole Baskin and Joe Exotic.
But enough about failure—let’s talk about success! A grand total of six (6!) public figures looked good last night. Please enjoy what little god hath given! Glass half-empty? More like glass half-FULL. First up, we have model Dara Allen as “Slave 4 U” video Britney Spears:
Ciara and her husband, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, as Janet Jackson and Busta Rhymes in the “What’s It Gonna Be?!” video:
Pop culture archivist slash yee haw agenda setter Bri Malandro as Harold Perrineau in Romeo + Juliet:
Hari Nef as Maggie Cheung in Irma Vep:
Aaaaand Kendall Jenner as Barb Wire Pamela Anderson gone electoràle (this is why we think you’re the gay one, Kendall):
Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik gave us deeply whatever Zero Suit Samus and Draco Malfoy(?) getups, respectively, thus their exclusion from the aforementioned Halloween hotties roundup. But the two did share the first pic of their baby daughter on Instagram, per Hollywood Life, albeit with a strategically placed Hulk sticker over her face.
- Nikki MkKibbin, who memorably placed third on the first season of American Idol back in 2002, has died. She was 42. [Page Six]
- A source says that Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton “have been in prenup talk for a few months.” Romantic! [Us Weekly]
- After 50 Cent made fun of Lil Nas X’s impeccable Nicki Minaj costume, the “Old Town Road” rapper told yon washed-up Vitamin Water hawker to stay out of “Barb business,” a lesson for us all… [Bossip]
- Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross had a baby! [Page Six]
- Prison abolition…………after Lori Loughlin serves her two-month sentence. [Bossip]