Snuggle Bear, a Reminder That Stuffed Bears Make Awful Gifts for Adults

A couple (from New Jersey!) decided Valentine’s Day would be the perfect opportunity to renew their vows in Times Square, but their reaffirmations of love and devotion were somewhat spoiled by the participation of the terrifying, dead-eyed “Snuggle” Bear.

You can see how, in the image above, the Snuggle Bear seems to be contemplating murder. At the very least, as Gothamist so astutely noticed, Snuggle Bear is up to something, though with such expressionless eyes, it’s hard to tell what that something is:

There is something deeply compelling about contrasting the sheepish, red-blooded couple with Snuggle Bear’s piercing, expressionless gaze. He could be presenting a ring, or cutting your car’s brakes while you sleep, or doing one-handed pullups while chain smoking and calling your grandmother and breathing heavily and hanging up as soon as she demands to know who keeps calling. It’s impossible to tell how he’s feeling; there are no eyebrows.

There ought to be a ban on stuffed bears (or humans in bear costumes) from henceforth. They’re extremely creepy and their fuzzy snouts are probably riddled with MRSA. Valentine’s Day is a biological disaster waiting to happen.