There were not nearly enough sluts at Amber Rose’s Slutwalk in Los Angeles on Saturday. The event had 15,000 registrants but the crowd felt more the size of a high school dance. I decided to ask some unnecessary cops milling around how many people they thought were in the crowd. One cop said 500. One cop said 300. One cop said 150. (I thought the LAPD would be better at guesstimating the size of a protest, but alas.)
A little background: Slutwalk started in Toronto in 2011 after a police officer publicly suggested women stop dressing like “sluts” if they want to be safe on campus. Whoops! (The cop later apologized.) And a movement was born, as they lazily toss off in news reporting.
Oh, and a little background on Amber Rose: she famously dated Kanye West some years ago and also she is practically perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins, if Mary were a self-proclaimed slut. Earlier this year, on a radio show, Kanye said, “It’s very hard for a woman to want to be with someone that’s with Amber Rose…I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim.” (Isn’t Kanye just the best? Don’t you wish he was your husband?) And a feminist was born. Since then, Amber teamed up Slutwalk and that’s how we got to this here protest.
Now to the fun stuff: THIS WAS THE BEST PARTY I’VE EVER BEEN TO, YOU GUYS. You think I’m kidding? I’m just gonna slam through a list of awesomeness:
- Free pink champagne in the VIP area
- Lots of boobs
- A 6-months-pregnant Bonnie Rotten
- Amber walking on stage to “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes
- Condoms, condoms everywhere
- Not too many guys
- Great Fashions
- Tiny cups of peach cobbler
And look who I met:
Janet Mock! She says “Hi!”