Simone Biles's Self-Isolation Workouts Are Not Like Ours

While every other athlete and fitness influencer is maintaining their brand by streaming or posting “doable” home workouts—like the Bella Twins or Alex Morgan, all three of whom are working out while pregnant—Simone Biles continues to remind us that she doesn’t do doable. She’s above us now.

Biles is also, apparently, an efficient skateboarder, as she revealed in an Instagram story featuring her rolling down the sidewalk on what I believe is a mini-board while wearing black slippers. It is only a few seconds long, but has Tony Hawk ever been seen skateboarding in fuzzy slippers while filming himself? Don’t think so. Maybe Biles is just picking up a hobby to pass the time, or maybe she’s preparing for her post-gymnastics career as a professional skateboarder. Imagine the tricks that will be named after her once she perfects this sport—which will probably take at most three weeks because, I repeat, she’s Simone Biles. This is making my virtual workouts seem even more futile.