It's hard to imagine anyone disliking Paul Walker, whose sudden death this holiday weekend seemed so unlikely that a Twitter hoax insisting that news of Walker's death was in fact a hoax briefly gave hope to would-be mourners on social media. Paul Walker — of the easy-smiling, effortlessly-charming Walkers — couldn't be dead, right? That the Fast and Furious poster boy would die in a violent car crash seemed too grimly ironic to come from anywhere but the addled imagination of a Twitter hoaxer.
Unfortunately, Walker's publicist confirmed that he died yesterday, and though we'll have to wait for an official cause of death from the Los Angeles County Coroner's office, the horrifying wreckage of the red Porsche Walker was riding in leaves little room for speculation. Once the news of the 40-year-old actor's death was confirmed through official channels, a flood of celebrities took to Twitter to mourn and express their utter bewilderment:
There's more at the link in case you feel like wallowing in grief (there's also this unsettling photo of Walker, which was apparently taken mere moments before his death). Walker's next film, Hours, is scheduled for a Dec. 13 release, and word is that he'd just finished filming his scenes for Fast and Furious 7, which is still in production. [CNN]
- News of Walker's untimely death may make snarky gossip seem especially tawdry this Sunday morning, but we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into a past when relevant celebrity Lindsay Lohan wasn't mere parody fodder for ultra-violent video games. According to TMZ, the actress has rounded up her lawyer team (led, I'm almost positive, by this gentleman) to take action against Grand Theft Auto V for using her image without permission. The game's cover art features a bikini-clad woman taking a selfie and kinda, sorta looking like Lindzzzz, and there's a mission in the game requiring players to help an actress avoid the paparazzi. CONSPIRACY??? [shrugs] [tears labrum] [sues Lindsay Lohan] [TMZ]
- Hey, Goop haterzzz — Mama Bear Paltrow (Blythe Danner) thinks you all need to get a life and stop clicky-clacking your keyboards in your effort to insult her baby girl. "I feel she's just extraordinarily accomplished in every area," Danner said recently, "and people don't like that, some people don't like that, people who are bored and sit on their asses all day and just tap away. I mean I don't read any of it, I just find it so disgusting. There is a coarsening of our culture today that is just so tragic." Maybe go outside, haterzzz, and drink in the life-giving radiation from our yellow star (GoopTips™). [E!]
- Kim Kardashian would like it very much if all the "ignorant" people criticizing her parenting skillz educated themselves: Kim's a busy lady, but that doesn't mean she's an inattentive mom. TRUTH. [Radar]
- Justin Bieber's pen exploded all over his arm, miraculously creating an "eagle pattern." #jesusbiebs #biebus #jiebus [E!]
- Biebs also went skateboarding in Australia SANS SHIRT, LADEEEEZZ. [Just Jared]
- Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson vacationed in Mexico, where they enjoyed cocktails and being spied on by somebody with a telephoto lens and nothing but time. [Daily Mail]
- Televangelist Paul Crouch died Saturday after suffering for almost a decade with degenerative heart disease. He was 79. [NBC]
- "Having my vagina tightened. It was just excruciating," is what Sharon Osbourne said out loud on The Graham Norton Show when asked which of her multiple cosmetic surgery procedures hurt the most. When asked by Colin Farrell for clarification, Osbourne added (without missing a step), "I'll show you later." [People]
- Country music person Luke Bryan had someone take a picture of him drinking shitty beer while driving his car, but there's a twist: he was driving on his own property, which is totes legal in Tennessee, the state the toilet paper forgot. [TMZ]
- We need to save libraries, according to Fabolous, because "where else are the homeless gonna get to jerk off at, man?" What about in all of those abandoned Blockbusters? Seems like a viable option. Besides, reading is for dorks. [TMZ]
- Carrie Underwood gets it, you guys — everyone hate hate HATES that she's in NBC's live production of The Sound of Music.
- Elwood, that hideous monster dog with patchy rat fur and a tongue that wiggled through his jigsaw teeth like an earthworm, died in the most appropriate place for the World's Ugliest Dog (2007) to die — New Jersey. Elwood was eight-years-old. [CNN]
Image via AP, Marco Urgate