Shitty Kickstarter Is Selling Hot Farts in a Bottle

It takes a lot to make a house a home. Some people go for bright colors and comfortable furnishings. Some, if Etsy is to be believed, recognize that there’s no way to make a home more personal than by sticking handmade tchotchkes all over the place. And you? You can buy a collection of “fart jars” for $500.

Functioning on the belief that it really is a small world (after all), Roy Stanton, whom Mashable identifies as a video game veteran and amateur oil painter, is trying to bring all of us a little closer together by sealing farts from all over the globe in individuals jars for your enjoyment and edification. Just $20 gets you three farts (guaranteed to be fresh) but if you have a spare $500 laying around burning a hole in your pocket (and you don’t want to just wipe your ass with it and then sniff that), you can get 80 whole farts in 80 different jars. Like, are you kidding me? You are going to be the envy of the entire subdivision! You so kooky and culturally competent! (And everyone respects you for it!)

And look! Look how hard everyone worked to fart for you.

From Mashable:

With any great business comes challenges. The hardest one for this Kickstarter was the fart testing process.

“It is difficult to sample farts from so many nationalities and still maintain a healthy and nutritious diet,” the Kickstarter page explains. “However, as our nasal cavities became desensitized we found it easier and easier to sample our flatulent findings without gagging.”

I just dry-heaved a little. But then I also thought of what a great teaching opportunity this could be! If you’re an educator in the sciences, you could bring these fart jars into class and use them to explain sensory adaptation…or you could just fart a couple of times for free. There are options.

In any case, you have less than 12 days to help this KickStarter reach $10,000, so you should really start pledging if you want a jar full of of volatile gas to appear at your house in the near future.