She's Not Running 

Hillary Clinton is not going to be president in 2020, because she is not running, she said definitively on Monday night. Here’s proof that she said it, lest she try to reverse course later. NO TAKE BACKS!

“I’m not running, but I’m going to keep on working and speaking and standing up for what I believe,” she told News 12 The Bronx.

In the same breath, she also promised (or threatened, depending on your perspective) viewers that this doesn’t mean she’s going to quietly retreat from the public eye.

“I want to be sure that people understand I’m going to keep speaking out. I’m not going anywhere. What’s at stake in our country, the kinds of things that are happening right now are deeply troubling to me. We’ve just gotten not just polarized, we’ve gotten into really opposing camps unlike anything I’ve ever seen in my adult life.”

Clinton has been spending her time counseling all several hundred Democratic candidates, though it’s hard to imagine why anyone would want to take advice from someone who ran a famously uninspired campaign. That said, her disastrous loss definitely afforded her a few pearls of wisdom, which she has been happy to pass on.

“I’ve told every one of them, don’t take anything for granted,” she said. Groundbreaking, truly. Why wasn’t there anyone around to tell her that?