She Did It!!!

Illustration for article titled She Did It!!!
Image: AP

It is never to early to get a jumpstart on your New Year’s resolutions; if you need a little inspiration, look to my new goal-setting icon, Fiona. Easily the most likable hippo in modern human history and just shy of two years old, she now weighs over 1,000 lbs. Truly, a Christmas miracle. This is one small step for Fiona, and one giant step for anyone who needs a kick in the butt to work towards their dreams; Fiona plans to grow even bigger in the new year, per the Cincinatti Zoo’s Twitter.

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This big ol’ baby is living proof that your circumstances do not define you. Yes, she was born premature, but life has turned out pretty grand for this bundle of joy, and next month is her birthday. I dream of being invited to her party, but I also love Fiona enough to respect any wishes to keep her celebration personal and close-knit.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

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chocolate covered raisons d'être

Fiona should be designated Official Mascot For Everyone Who Needs Reminding That Something Good Can Still Happen In The World™.

Promos and marketing are not my niche, ok?