There are so many kinds of jeans, that Dr. Seuss himself would have no trouble filling a book called New Jeans, Old Jeans, White Jeans, Blue Jeans. And on the page where he mentions “frayed-hem mayhem,” you’d find a photo of a furry Seussian character throwing a pair of blue jeans into a blender in a desperate attempt to be more fashionable than everyone else.
Friday, Racked published a story about how to style frayed-hem jeans. When wearing a pair that “flaunts a full four inches of fray,” they suggest a “special shoe” that properly complements all that dying denim, such as a “copper leather, ‘70s-inspired heels by Madeline Poole for Madison Harding.” OK! Sounds cute. But how do you get frayed-hem jeans in the first place?
You could buy them pre-frayed, of course, but who wants to spend money on unfinished clothes? Based on zero experience either fraying denim or making good sartorial decisions, I’ve created a guide to fraying the hems of your jeans at home.
- Find a pair of jeans you wouldn’t mind accidentally setting on fire.
- Turn on Hailee Steinfeld’s “Love Myself” and play at the highest volume on your music machine of choice.
- Remove the pitcher from your blender, dump the melted, day-old margarita out into your sink. (If it’s after 5:00, drink the margarita instead.)
- Lower the hems of your jeans into the blender so that the tip of the denim gently grazes the blades.
- Pulse the blender to the beat of Hailee Steinfeld’s “Love Myself” while slowly lowering the jeans further into the pitcher.
- When you’ve reached your desired amount of fray, remove the jeans from the blender.
- Put the jeans on.
- Clean the blender.
- Make more margaritas.
- Start Hailee Steinfeld’s “I Love Myself” over again and drink a margarita.
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Image via 3x1.