The Oscars are tomorrow night, crew, and I’m already preparing myself for E!s typically-obnoxious red carpet special. As part of this preparation, I’ve decided to give the red carpet “Fashion Police” a taste of their own medicine.
The Offender: Giuliana Rancic I don’t even really care what Rancic wears on the red carpet—even if it is an apparent knock-off of Regina George’s Spring Fling gown from 5-7-91-3-5—but her attitude towards other women’s bodies is so shitty and distorted that she should be fined $500 for every comment she makes about someone else’s weight. If there was a way to disemvowel someone over the television, I’d bleep out 98% of the vowels Rancic uses when describing everyone else’s looks. Take the body-snark down a notch, Rancic. You’re there to judge the dresses, not the diets.
The Offender: Jay Manuel I know he has a “look,” but the man has been wearing a variation on the same outfit (signature silver hair, shiny jacket) for what, 5 years now? During the Grammy’s, he kept pushing all of the actresses into E’s! idiotic 360 cam and demanding that they take it seriously, while the men, on the other hand, were allowed to have fun and pose in wacky ways. The red carpet is not ANTM, Jay! You can’t tell the women how to pose and dismiss them if they don’t cooperate! These ladies have already made it, thanks, and they don’t really need your help or your nausea-creating camera zone.
The Offender: Debbie Matenopolous You can not show up to an awards show in an animal-print dress and a Mystic Tan and then proceed make fun of everyone else’s clothing. You just can’t. Period. The end. Lights out. Girl, bye.
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