Seriously, Poop Pills Just Might Save Your Life (With Poop!)

Ohhhhhh my GOD, I will never ever ever in my life get tired of stories where doctors use poop as medicine. EVER. Because, you see, it’s poop (which is stinky stuff that comes out of your butt*), and then doctors (who are very serious science grown-ups) have to touch the poop with doctory gravitas, and then they turn the poop into a magic potion called medicine, and then, WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, they put someone else’s poop-medicine back into your body. And it cures you. POOP!!! Poop is a hero!

Yep, in addition to being super duper hilarious, the therapeutic application of feces is a revolutionary medical development that has the potential to save fourteen-thousands of lives. Patients suffering from C. diff (a potentially deadly bacterial infection that you might remember from the time it started devouring Tig Notaro’s intestines at the worst possible moment) have seen amazing results from fecal transplants administered either through an enema or a nasal tube. But, to spare patients that unpleasantness, doctors are working on a way to deliver the processed fecal bacteria in pill form. It’s not perfect (patients have to swallow 34 poop pills in 15 minutes), but it’s working!

Via Salon:

In a clinical trial carried out in Canada, researchers announced, 32 patients with recurring C. diff infections were successfully treated will pills containing donated fecal matter, broken down to its bacterial components.

The patients had to quickly swallow up to 34 pills in a 15-minute period. Not one threw up, according to the researchers. And while taking the pills with the knowledge of what was in them may not have been the most pleasant experience, it’s an improvement from previous transplant procedures, which include enemas, tubes placed directly into the colon or nasal tubes.

…In a statement, researcher Thomas Louie said, ”Many people might find the idea of fecal transplantation off-putting, but those with recurrent infection are thankful to have a treatment that works.”

C. diff affects an estimated 250,o00 people per year, and kills around 14,000. So far, the success rate of fecal transplants is 90%. Because POOP IS BOSS.

So basically, this is the best win-win-win ever. Present and future C. diff-sufferers get to not die of C. diff, feces gets a major PR boost, and I get to keep making this face every time a new poop transplant story comes out: