Selena Gomez Rang in 2020 By Getting Stung By a Portuguese Man O' War

Illustration for article titled Selena Gomez Rang in 2020 By Getting Stung By a Portuguese Man O War
Image: Getty

Selena Gomez, who sang no less than four of my top Spotify songs in 2019, was stung by a Portuguese man o’ war while vacationing in Hawaii over New Year’s. Doesn’t this feel a bit on the nose, after the year she’s had?

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But according to photos in TMZ, Gomez seemed extremely subdued about the whole situation, posing in her beach sweater and dangling chicly from a handsome smiling man who carried her to safety. How, though? A sting by a man o’ war is supposed to be brutally painful; the kind of pain that doesn’t kill you but does impel you to throw yourself on the sand and ugly-howl for at least long enough for the paparazzi to commit it to film. This makes me wonder if the “sting” was just a lie concocted to drum up press for her new album, Rare, to be released on Friday.

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If so, fine, but she’s going to have to try harder. This is 2020! Send a dead man o’ war printed with Gomez’s face to the first 500 people to download the album or I’m bored. [TMZ]


I’m puzzled by this sequence of events. Champagne is not water. Could they not obtain actual water? Was water some sort of scarce resource, like the Golden Globes are a refugee camp or Fyre Festival?

Illustration for article titled Selena Gomez Rang in 2020 By Getting Stung By a Portuguese Man O War

Also, what were Beyoncé and Jay-Z even doing there? My god, why would you ever attend one of these things if you didn’t absolutely have to? Yuck! [People]

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  • Good for her, I say! [Page Six]
  • Taylor Swift did a PDA. [Us]

Night blogger at Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

Also, what were Beyoncé and Jay-Z even doing there?

Because Bey was nominated (and was robbed, if you ask me).

Jen and Reese needed something to drink; they ran out of champagne and water. Well, which do you think they were looking for? lol

Lauren, don’t worry about it.  It’s...fine!  Everything’s fine.