Selena Gomez, 23, Is an Ancient Crone

Illustration for article titled Selena Gomez, 23, Is an Ancient Crone

Selena Gomez, an elderly woman who lives in a cave that’s buried deep inside a mountain, knows that she is old and that her youth is lost to time. “You know kids don’t even know who I am anymore,” the old woman recently told E! News, her old woman voice a creaky old woman whisper.

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Via E!:

Selena Gomez is only 23, but she’s already feeling the sting of getting older?

“You know kids don’t even know who I am anymore,” she said with a laugh while promoting her family friendly flick Hotel Transylvania 2. “It made me so sad [because] I was literally doing an interview with this little girl…and I was like, ‘You know, when I did the show I was on,’ and she goes, ‘What show?’ I was like, what’s happening? I’m getting old!”

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AND SOON HER BONES WILL BE DUST.


Illustration for article titled Selena Gomez, 23, Is an Ancient Crone

Adam Brody, who famously played Seth Cohen on The O.C. and has since appeared in some other stuff, and Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) had a baby! Their daughter Arlo Day was born on August 4 in California. TMZ finds it remarkable that Brody and Meester did not have their baby at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, “the usual celebrity hospital of choice.” Couple of the people, I guess.


Illustration for article titled Selena Gomez, 23, Is an Ancient Crone
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Ben McKenzie, who famously played Ryan Atwood on The O.C. and has since appeared in some other stuff, and Morena Baccarin (Firefly) are having a baby! “McKenzie and Baccarin have been rumored to be romantically involved in recent weeks, just like their characters on the Fox series [Gotham],” reports the New York Daily News. “The speculation intensified after they were spotted attending several Emmy Awards events together, although the two have yet to confirm their relationship.”


  • While we’re talking baby news, did everyone know that Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross named their baby “Jagger Snow”? [NYDN]
  • Kylie Jenner wrote “Happy Birthday Nigga” on her friend’s birthday cake. [Radar]
  • And is maybe engaged to Tyga. [VH1]
  • Ariana Grande on homophobes: “How dumb as fuck can a person be?” [ONTD]
  • Fordham University is divorcing Bill Cosby from his honorary doctorate degree. [Gossip Cop]
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Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Images via Getty and Fox.

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DISCUSSION

liztaylorsearrings
LizTaylorsEarrings

Ben McKenzie, who famously played Ryan Atwood on The O.C. and has since appeared in some other stuff, and Morena Baccarin (Firefly) are having a baby!

WHAT. THAT BABY WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE ON EARTH. ALL WHO GAZE UPON ITS VISAGE WILL WEEP FROM JOY AND SUDDEN BLINDNESS. IT WILL BECOME OUR NEW BENEVOLENT GOD. ALL HAIL THE MCBACC GOD-CHILD.

Also, who else loved Ryan more than Seth? Seth had his charms, to be sure, but my heart always longed for Ryan.

Also also, first season of The OC - perfection in soapy television or perfection in all of television? I weep for its unavailability on Canadian Netflix. I just want some teen pregnancy and Summer dressed up as Wonder Woman and Ryan and Taylor and Daddy Eyebrows and Marisa going CUH-RAZY and Julie Cooper-Nichol's Machiavellian machinations, all within the heady world of an early 2000s wealthy Californian county.