Scarlett Johansson is officially engaged to Frenchman and too-hot-to-be-a-journalist journalist Romain Dauriac, her rep confirms. "They're very happy... they haven't chosen a date for the wedding." After faking us out numerous times this past year with non-nuptial diamond rings, her actual engagement ring is "a vintage Art Deco style." If that means anything to you. To me it mostly just means "not a Funyun."
Time to start the betting ring about where, when and how: I'm gonna go with Big Sur, late spring of 2014, rustic but with cleavage. [People]
In the wake of the last few weeks of benders, interventions, being kicked out of the house he shares with Khloe Kardashian and a DUI arrest, Lamar Odom went to rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, particularly crack, says a source: "He finally realized he needs help." Meanwhile, estranged Khloe had no idea he'd checked in, although she'd been encouraging him to do so for some time. [Gossip Cop, TMZ]
A$AP Rocky is being sued for slapping a woman in the face ("a young mother," points out TMZ, because that's relevant?) during a Philadelphia concert.
The woman claims A$AP was trying to make his way through a crowd of dancing fans — with a bunch of girls pulling on his shirt — when A$AP turned and fired off an open-hand slap, connecting with her face.
She claims to have suffered whiplash from the incident. [TMZ]
Dakota Fanning, 19, is dating 32-year-old model Jamie Strachan. I mean, it's legal, but that doesn't mean I necessarily have to be psyched that he was getting his first handjob while she was being born. I dunno. Discuss. [Wetpaint]
- Melissa Etheridge won her case against ex Tammy Lynn Michaels re: taking their kids on tour. [TMZ]
- Liam Payne's apartment had a fire, sending one of his friends to the hospital with second-degree burns on 20 percent of his body. Fires are scary as fuck; best wishes to all of them. [Gossip Cop]
- A slimy Baldwin tell-all is on the horizon. [Radar Online]
- Nickelodeon actress Jeannette McCurdy and NBA player Andre Drummond are dating after meeting on Twitter. So it can happen. If you're reading this. Orange Is The New Black's Matt McGorry. [Gossip Cop]
- Here is a very strange but kind of awesome avant-garde photoshoot of an eight-months-pregnant Kim Kardashian for a new magazine by human stiletto Carine Roitfeld. [NYDN]
- "Match The Diamond Grill To The Star," if you are still embarrassed about your SAT score and want to redeem yourself. [Radar Online]
- Zoe Saldana maybe secretmarried boyfriend Marco Perego. [Page Six]
- Dave Chappelle called the crowd in Hartford — where he left the stage early — a bunch of "young white alcoholics." "I wanted to pull a reverse Kramer: Call them all crackers or something like that." [TMZ]
- Robin Thicke and Paula Patton went on a date in the wake of Buttgrab 2013. [People]
- "A gif of Nick Jonas kissing his girlfriend Olivia Culpo? Why do we need this?" she asked. "It was then, my child, that I carried you," said the Lord. [People]
- Sarah Silverman's dog, Duck, has died at 19. Saaaaad. :( [E!]
- The highest-earning TV actress is Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials. JK, it's Sofia Vergara. [Gossip Center]
- Katie Coo knew she wanted to get married again. [Page Six]
- Christina Aguilera is in Maxim this month, talking about not wanting to be in control in the bedroom. [Radar Online]
- Miley Cyrus called the paparazzi "cunts" and then tweeted about it proudly. [E!]
- I am actually kind of into Count Ke$hula's cape because of the zero-fucks-given element. [E!]
- Never mind, Jack Nicholson isn't retiring from acting. [E!]