I’m unofficially on Dionne Warwick’s shit list. She hasn’t called me out personally—yet—but she might as well have following a Monday afternoon video she uploaded to her Twitter account.
“This is for all of you tweeters who have decided that I’m not tweeting my own stuff to you,” Warwick said, shaking her head in disdain. “I want you to know, I am, and I am getting very, very, very good at it.”
I’m very much guilty of being one of the early skeptics. (If Dionne Warwick is so good at Twitter, why won’t she drag me personally?)
A recent New York Times interview with Warwick confirms that her niece, Brittani Warwick, taught her how to use Twitter this fall and that Warwick was simply a natural. But the niece’s involvement hasn’t quelled my curiosity, it has only ignited it.
I don’t mean to sound ageist, and I know the elders know how to insert photos into tweets now, use emojis, the whole lot. But sometimes her tweets are a little too good. In the Chance tweets, Warwick’s tone was perfectly bemused, and her delivery gave the people exactly what they wanted: Light snark from an icon who wants to see what this here Twitter dot com is all about. Upon further thought, I can perhaps buy that Warwick wrote them herself.
This tweet, however... I’m not buying:
Has Dionne Warwick seen Never Been Kissed? I mean, maybe she has! But... I don’t know, am I the only one who thinks this is a little too in the Twitter know? This tweet, to me, feels like the smoking gun.
In her New York Times interview, Warwick offered a little more insight into her newfound Twitter fame:
What caused you to bring your talents to Twitter?
I saw all the fun everyone else was having, and it’s something to do during this period of time when I am literally doing nothing. They shut down at the end of February and I have been home since then.
Do you know you are being considered the queen of Twitter?
No! Really? That is too funny!
Do you like that a younger generation is getting to know you this way?
This has always been me. I like being me because I like me. Why shouldn’t I use it? It makes me happy. They can’t take my happiness away from me.
And we love Dionne Warwick being herself! This is the woman who brought us “I Say A Little Prayer For You,” “That’s What Friends Are For,” and “I got your number, hussy.” Warwick is a beloved diva, and you don’t become a beloved diva without having a whole lot of talent and a sharp tongue, so it’s plausible she’s the only voice behind these tweets. The case for Warwick tweeting herself is also strengthened by the occasional question that would sound familiar to anyone nearing 80. For example, Warwick wondering why the hell everyone is always so “loud” on Twitter.
I do buy that most of Warwick’s tweets likely come from her hilarious, stray thoughts as an observer of pop culture, younger generations, and Twitter oddities. I also believe that Warwick is a natural for the platform: Her wit is legendary, and I’d much rather see Warwick wonder what a “Hot Girl” is than another depressing tweet of covid-19 stats or a series of subtweets about the latest YA book drama.
Either way, I sincerely hope Warwick continues to bring us laughs and viral Twitter moments well into 2021 and beyond. I also hope she doesn’t drag me for this too severely.