Save the Mullet: Surviving The Walking Dead, Episode 5
LatestSunday night’s edition of The Walking Dead opened with a minor setback, featured a whole lot of mullet talk, and ended with a major confession.
In “Self Help,” we get a flashback that explains Abraham and Eugene’s journey to D.C. It all started when Eugene stumbles upon Abe, who’s about to shoot a bullet through his mouth after the death of his family. Abraham, in turn, rescues Eugene from being chased by a walker pack, which is the perfect time for Eugene to trick him into absconding on a “very important” Human Genome Project-related “mission” to save the world.
Meanwhile, in real time, everyone in the D.C.-bound crew tries to convince Abraham to chill out and retreat from their pilgrimage. The Yosemite Sam beard can’t be stopped. “We don’t go back!” screams Abraham. “We’re not stopping!” screams Abraham. “We can get through!” And it’s always good to know someone has a cheery outlook. Here, What Would Jezebel Do?
1. Would we head back to the church after the bus crash?
YES. Why not. Abraham, Glenn, Maggie, Rosita and Tara are headed up North in the short bus they got from Pastor Gabriel. Glennie, who are starring in their own romcom, remain optimistic that Rick and the others can’t be far behind. Change of plans, though, after the bus flips over and goes up in flames.
Eugene (for some reason, wonder why) would rather return to the church, but Abraham makes them continue the trip. He’s a time bomb armed with a knife and Jesse Jackson sayings: “I am stressed and depressed to see that ride die,” says Abe.
The group ends up staying in a bookstore overnight. No porn around, unfort, so Eugene spies on Abe and Rosita screwing around. Not his first time. He tells Tara: “I enjoy the female form. I consider this a victimless crime that provides both comfort and distraction.” Hm, well, interesting. This is also where Eugene reveals that he put crushed glass from a lightbulb in the fuel line to sabotage the bus, hoping it would break down before they got too far along.
In the bookstore, post-sex, Rosita ponders to Abraham, “Maybe we always wind up stopping because we never start at a hundred percent.” DING DING! Yes, maybe that has something to do with it. I can’t help but wonder! Maggie later strongly recommends that the group stay in the bookstore for another day.
Bullheaded Abraham strongly disagrees. He wants to keep moving, so he finds and fixes up their second mode of transportation, a firetruck, and they ease on down the road.