On Friday, the China Conservation and Research Center for the Giant Panda rolled out 36 panda cubs for no other purpose than public enjoyment.
“Instead of introducing the pandas one by one, the center opted for making one huge good news blast by debuting all of the babies to the public at once,” writes People.
They made a humungous fucking splash. The showcase has been broadcast across at least three continents all day. No other story will ever top this maximum level of all-out cuteness. This is it, everybody. All we can do is take in the ebb and flow of overwhelming joy and sadness that this is the cutest sight ever and that there will never be anything this adorable ever again.
These are 36 out of 42 total pandas bred at the Research Center this year, its most productive panda year yet. Baby pandas appear to be good at lining up in rows and meowing, not so much motor skills, which means that if you were in charge of one, it would need you to carry it around everywhere. “For 2 months after birth, baby pandas basically only feed on milk, sleep, and poo,” we learn from ChinaHighlights.com. As America’s beloved baby Fiona the Hippo verges on her disillusioned rebel teen phase and (I hate to say this but) sexual maturity, that’s a comforting thought.